I can appreciate where you're coming from, and I agree it sucks that income that's already been taxed once will get taxed a second time when you leave it to A.

On the other hand, right now, you and P have the option of saying "Hey, P can stay home, and our income/tax rates won't change that much, or might actually improve, compared to him staying employed." And that's a choice that a lot of other people don't have, especially in the last six or seven months. Maybe a lot of people at your income levels can make that choice; a lot more people that I know are working less because they're unemployed, or underemployed.

I'm happy for you, if you're in a stable job and don't have to worry about losing your job or your home. Just remember that you're one of the lucky families. I know, or know of, far more people who have lost their jobs in the last year than I do people who can afford to voluntarily walk away from steady employment.