I can only imagine what you're feeling, hon. It's one of the hardest things, to lose a pet. I lost a puppy when I was younger -- hit by a car when chasing after another dog thaat was across the street. My father blamed himself for a long time because he was the one who was watching him. But it wasn't his fault, and this wasn't yours. Kittens LOVE to be underfoot. This one just didn't get out of the way fast enough.

Peace be with Merlin, and may he move on to an even happier place in the next life. :)