hkellick: Pittsburgh, City of Bridges (Default)
HK ([personal profile] hkellick) wrote2001-11-13 10:54 pm
Entry tags:

Rest in Peace Little One

At 10:10 PM on November 13, 2001, Merlin "Hot Stuff" Kellick died. He was only about four months old. We had had him for near three weeks.
Cause of death: massive trauma to his abdomen and organs inside. He was stepped on... by me.

[profile] malytwotails once said that when little kittens die they go to a place where dead children went and entertained them and made them smile. Something about over the rainbow.. I don't remember all the details. I pray that that is true. That little hot stuff is somewhere making someone else as happy as he made us when he was here.

I'm so upset I can't even begin to describe it. I can't put words to my sorrow.
I know I can't blame myself.. accidents happen.. but in some way I do.. I killed him... and even though he'll forgive me (the vet swears he never knew what had happened) and you'll all forgive me, I'm not sure I can forgive myself.

I can't think of much else to say but this..
Rest in Peace, Hot Stuff... you weren't here very long, but you brought alot of joy into our lives and we loved you. Thank you for that.

(And some more)

[identity profile] malytwotails.livejournal.com 2001-11-13 11:10 pm (UTC)(link)
(last reply was too long to be posted as one thing)

Right now your heart hurts, your mind is spinning, you probably feel sick to your stomach with guilt and grief, all you can think about is "what if..." and "why did he..." and "why didn't I...". I know those words, I've spun them around in my own mind, but I find comfort in the fact that for the short time these animals are in our lives, we enjoy every moment with them. No, we might not enjoy the less glamourous parts of pet ownership, like the litterbox or even feeding time, but still then, it lifts our souls to have these wonderful little creatures just being generous enough to share their spirits and their time with us.

I know that when Rahmal and I lose Siouxsie and Bauhaus, we're going to celebrate their short little two year lifespans and send them out with a viking funeral, we're going to make them little boats and cover them with rosepetals and all of our friends are going to come to say goodbye.

All of life is a celebration, lite, and we should continue celebrating even after it's gone.