![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Entry tags:
Starting again with cc
I was posting in my facebook about K being pregnant. A friend of mine from CC responded. We started talking back and forth and one thing led to another and he basically invited me back to the CC Chat. And I couldn't come up with any particular reason I should say no. I miss my friends from CC and while a couple of them have come over here to stalk me, by and large.. I just don't hear from them.
So I logged back on.
And it all rushed back. The good, the bad and the ugly. And I remembered.. that this time I didn't need to get involved in the bad part of the site.
I think, looking back and reading through some of the final posts.. I was just in a bad place, mentally and.. with the mod thing. I know, back then, work was really frustrating, I was still recovering from Gall Bladder, and .. I just couldn't handle the typical garbage that was part of the job.
But I didn't think I could quit. I was "NEEDED". Igor and Erik NEEDED me to fill the role and there really wasn't anyone else who could do what I was doing. Others needed me too.
And if that sounds a bit self-centered and a little bit crazy.. I agree with you from here.
So I went off the deep end. I got super defensive, a little bit crazy and finally in a flash of drama disappeared.
Which.. actually knowing myself... even knowing I was trying NOT to be dramatic... isn't much of a surprise.
Logging back in today, I swore to myself I was done with modding. And that I was going to try to avoid the posts I know to avoid (like the one today about Creationism vs. Evolution. I KNOW that that post is going to devolve into another Religious Debate because I know the Character of the Site.)
And it was good. I had a good time kicking it around with my friends in Chat and, yes, it's nice to be missed and appreciated.
So I logged back on.
And it all rushed back. The good, the bad and the ugly. And I remembered.. that this time I didn't need to get involved in the bad part of the site.
I think, looking back and reading through some of the final posts.. I was just in a bad place, mentally and.. with the mod thing. I know, back then, work was really frustrating, I was still recovering from Gall Bladder, and .. I just couldn't handle the typical garbage that was part of the job.
But I didn't think I could quit. I was "NEEDED". Igor and Erik NEEDED me to fill the role and there really wasn't anyone else who could do what I was doing. Others needed me too.
And if that sounds a bit self-centered and a little bit crazy.. I agree with you from here.
So I went off the deep end. I got super defensive, a little bit crazy and finally in a flash of drama disappeared.
Which.. actually knowing myself... even knowing I was trying NOT to be dramatic... isn't much of a surprise.
Logging back in today, I swore to myself I was done with modding. And that I was going to try to avoid the posts I know to avoid (like the one today about Creationism vs. Evolution. I KNOW that that post is going to devolve into another Religious Debate because I know the Character of the Site.)
And it was good. I had a good time kicking it around with my friends in Chat and, yes, it's nice to be missed and appreciated.