I havent commented recently because I havent had anything worth saying. It doesnt mean I'm not reading or dont care, but leaving just a comment of *hugs* to every entry would maybe seem false or an easy way out, even if I do mean them.
So... *hugs* I give more than a shit. I've said it before - we might not be incredibly close, but I've known you a while now, and I care.
Right, because if nobody comments to you within three hours of posting that means we all hate you and wish you'd shut up about your life. =P Nevermind that not everyone checks LJ in the morning or is even awake yet. Or they don't necessarily feel qualified to comment on your personal life. Nope, the world is just uniting in their hatred of LITE, because he's just so important that he must be universally despised!
You know, I'm not sure if you're being sarcastic or serious, but one way or the other, your response is not entierly called for. Universally Despised? No. Am I feeling support from my comrades? Also no. Sorry if this post is too dramatic for you. :p
You're not going to like me for this, but she's right.
Go ahead. Tell me I'm being a horrible girlfriend and terribly unsupportive. She's still right -- at least she had the guts to tell you, but then she doesn't have to face the kind of retribution I do for saying so.
Why does someone calling it like they see it necessarily preclude friendship? I'd think that would actually be, you know, useful, having someone who cares enough to call bullshit when they see it.
When I ask for friendship, I do not expect to be taking on a "Yes Man", but I do expect to be taking on someone who accepts and appreciates me for who I am. I've felt, recently, like Rachel does not. If she doesn't, then there can't be a friendship. She can remain a nice and kind critic, but not a friend.
Respectfully, I have to disagree with you and the prior poster.
When you're in a rough emotional state and hurting --as opposed to a regular mental state where you're not upset and depressed--do you really sit down and think logically, "Wow, no LJ responses. I bet people are not up yet/at work/haven't gotten online yet/are offline doing stuff" every single time you post something you'd like a response to?
I would have to say I would have trouble believing you if you tell me that yes, even when you're depressed and upset and hurting you still have that presence of mind to think about the rest of the world objectively, rather than through the filter of your own feelings.
Not only that, but even if you can do it -- think that clearly beyond being in pain and emotional distress--that doesn't automatically mean you have the right to expect that every single human being on the planet can also do it. It's a learned skill and not everyone learns at the same speed.
With the above in mind, I think the previous response was a bit more harsh than strictly warranted -- i.e. kicking a man when he's down.
Simply saying "people may not be in a position where they can respond yet, give it some time" would've gotten the same point across without the unnecessary meanness.
And in my humble opinion, meanness was not only unnecessary, but counterproductive, here.
Maybe, even though I've been dating lite for almost two years, this is a surprise to him, but this is what I believe:
If someone's truly upset over something, yes, sympathy is certainly the right way to go.
If someone's being a drama queen/king, and too wrapped up in themselves to realize it, sometimes they need a good kick to snap out of it.
He can claim I'm unsympathetic and unsupportive in his LJ all he wants, but the truth is, I'm not. I'm another human being, doing my best, but when every time he's down, there's a threat of "you're unsupportive and I'm fighting the urge to break up with you again" (which there was, just not in this particular forum), there's a point where my choices are as follows:
1) Be a doormat. 2) Wait it out, which may include distancing myself. 3) Trying to nip it in the bud.
Option 1 sucks for me. Option 2 sucks for lite, if not both of us, since lite usually takes that as "See? You hate me, we're not going to make it." Option 3 is what's left when I can't actually be physically there to make him talk to me.
I asked you, earlier today, to come over so WE COULD TALK, before all this drama.
You can claim you're being sympathetic and supportive. That's bully for you.
Kristen, you should understand. It wasn't all that long ago YOU broke and once we talked I *WAS* sympathetic and supportive. I wasn't perfect and there were times when my support wasn't helpful and I'll admit that, but I was THERE. I was there this weekend when you were exhausted and instead of giving you a boot to the head and telling you to stop whining, I gave you understanding and sympathy.
Frankly, Kristen, your excuse is more holey than the vatican.
Hey... I *do* care. And I do read pretty much all your entries.
I find your entries about your work particularly interesting... I still have 2 more years before I get my Bachelor's, but now's the time when I need to start thinking about internships and stuff. I honestly hadn't thought about work environments as something to look out for, before reading your experiences. Of course, I still wouldn't know how to even ask about it, given that I know almost nothing about work etiquitte. :P
But anyway, I do read, and I do care. And I think a lot more people read your journal than mine.
Give me some time to get myself a little more under control and, if you want, I'll help you find a way to... well, not ask about it, but try and determine for yourself.
Saturday morning I am climbing at Carderock, and I promised my grandparents I'd be up to see them afterwards.
I might be available saturday night.
Sunday I'm having acupuncture in the morn. I will return home after the acupuncture (probably around 3PM), but I really gotta get my study on for the CCNA exam. I've got to get that done.
Saturday night could work. Out of curiosity, were you interested in seeing "Kung Fu Hustle". It looks like a crappily amusing movie. Keep me informed if you get the free time. You got my cell, right?
I do not have your cellular, email it to alainna dot wonders at gmail dot com.
Keep in mind I spent ~ 4 hours driving between Baltimore and Centreville, so I might not want to hike all the way back down to the DC area until Sunday. Especially since I made that trek last night and this afternoon (had a docs appt).
Was actually going to suggest meeting someplace more central (either by car or metro) I'm a lousy night driver, especially in the rain, so too long a voyage on the various expressways would worry me.
I think it was supposed to? I'll keep my eye on the weather as it comes and goes.
Saw your response to my latest post, perhaps you can help. Am looking for some sort of cool place, more or less local to hang at that I can enjoy myself... I'm not particularly outdoorsy, but I enjoy geeking out someplace worthwhile. I also like concerts if the band's any good. Or you could check my userinfo for some of my other not mentioned interests Any ideas?
ahh i also forgot about chiaroscuro. It's a club, yes, but they have new-wave karaoke night and it's hilarious. and the people are awesome. They really are.
I forgot about ramsheadlive.com for good shows (Emmylou Harris,
I post quite often to your journal and since I just saw your post I hadn't the opportunity to comment. I would like to add, though I know you did it because your going through a rough patch, that I can count the amount of times you've ever bothered to post comments on my LJ entries these past couple of months. It would be pretty close to zero. I've given up bitching about the unfairness of this on my journal (your not the only one that does that to me)but since you're complaining about lack of posts I thought I'd mention it that you have it pretty good. Almost every post you put gets at least one comment. Anyway not a slam or anything since I know why you posted this. Just cause I don't check my friends page every hour and comment doesn't mean I'm not here for my friends.
You're right that I don't respond to your posts much. Most of the time, I guess I don't know what to say either. I envy you your relationship with minupla. It seems you guys can do what I can't seem to. It's hard to be all "Congratulations" when things are good because of the envy. Sorry. :/
Yeah things are good relationship wise with minupla but I'm having a rough time living in Antigua. So sometimes it would be nice to get some support in dealing with that but whatever *shrugs* I know people are dealing with their own crap.
I think we /all/ tend to get overly dramatic and needy sometimes. Sometimes we post/whine/whatever about it, sometimes we bottle it up. Neither is the perfect solution. I'm not sure there IS a perfect solution for something that is an imperfection of being human.
Rest assured that folks /are/ listening. The big problem with LJ is that we all post and want feedback... but then we also all get wrapped up in our own lives. On the surface it's a great way to all keep in touch. In reality, though, we try to "keep in touch" with so many people that things fall by the wayside. Life gets in the way.
Just to reiterate what others have said.. I do read the journal and of course I care. I just don't have time to comment all the time, and sometimes even if I have some time to comment, I don't know exactly what to say in this type of forum.
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So... *hugs* I give more than a shit. I've said it before - we might not be incredibly close, but I've known you a while now, and I care.
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Nevermind that not everyone checks LJ in the morning or is even awake yet. Or they don't necessarily feel qualified to comment on your personal life. Nope, the world is just uniting in their hatred of LITE, because he's just so important that he must be universally despised!
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Universally Despised? No.
Am I feeling support from my comrades? Also no.
Sorry if this post is too dramatic for you. :p
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Go ahead. Tell me I'm being a horrible girlfriend and terribly unsupportive. She's still right -- at least she had the guts to tell you, but then she doesn't have to face the kind of retribution I do for saying so.
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I had hoped we could become friends. Am I deluding myself that this is likely?
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If she doesn't, then there can't be a friendship. She can remain a nice and kind critic, but not a friend.
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When you're in a rough emotional state and hurting --as opposed to a regular mental state where you're not upset and depressed--do you really sit down and think logically, "Wow, no LJ responses. I bet people are not up yet/at work/haven't gotten online yet/are offline doing stuff" every single time you post something you'd like a response to?
I would have to say I would have trouble believing you if you tell me that yes, even when you're depressed and upset and hurting you still have that presence of mind to think about the rest of the world objectively, rather than through the filter of your own feelings.
Not only that, but even if you can do it -- think that clearly beyond being in pain and emotional distress--that doesn't automatically mean you have the right to expect that every single human being on the planet can also do it. It's a learned skill and not everyone learns at the same speed.
With the above in mind, I think the previous response was a bit more harsh than strictly warranted -- i.e. kicking a man when he's down.
Simply saying "people may not be in a position where they can respond yet, give it some time" would've gotten the same point across without the unnecessary meanness.
And in my humble opinion, meanness was not only unnecessary, but counterproductive, here.
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If someone's truly upset over something, yes, sympathy is certainly the right way to go.
If someone's being a drama queen/king, and too wrapped up in themselves to realize it, sometimes they need a good kick to snap out of it.
He can claim I'm unsympathetic and unsupportive in his LJ all he wants, but the truth is, I'm not. I'm another human being, doing my best, but when every time he's down, there's a threat of "you're unsupportive and I'm fighting the urge to break up with you again" (which there was, just not in this particular forum), there's a point where my choices are as follows:
1) Be a doormat.
2) Wait it out, which may include distancing myself.
3) Trying to nip it in the bud.
Option 1 sucks for me. Option 2 sucks for
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I asked you, earlier today, to come over so WE COULD TALK, before all this drama.
You can claim you're being sympathetic and supportive. That's bully for you.
Kristen, you should understand. It wasn't all that long ago YOU broke and once we talked I *WAS* sympathetic and supportive. I wasn't perfect and there were times when my support wasn't helpful and I'll admit that, but I was THERE. I was there this weekend when you were exhausted and instead of giving you a boot to the head and telling you to stop whining, I gave you understanding and sympathy.
Frankly, Kristen, your excuse is more holey than the vatican.
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I don't always know what to say, though.
And "I read your entry but I don't know what to say." as a comment seems lacking, pointless, and kind of rude to me.
But I do give a shit, honest.
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I find your entries about your work particularly interesting... I still have 2 more years before I get my Bachelor's, but now's the time when I need to start thinking about internships and stuff. I honestly hadn't thought about work environments as something to look out for, before reading your experiences. Of course, I still wouldn't know how to even ask about it, given that I know almost nothing about work etiquitte. :P
But anyway, I do read, and I do care. And I think a lot more people read your journal than mine.
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Or you could post about some retard that wants a female hacker sidekick...
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Watcha doing this weekend? Wanna hang?
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I might be available saturday night.
Sunday I'm having acupuncture in the morn. I will return home after the acupuncture (probably around 3PM), but I really gotta get my study on for the CCNA exam. I've got to get that done.
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Out of curiosity, were you interested in seeing "Kung Fu Hustle". It looks like a crappily amusing movie.
Keep me informed if you get the free time. You got my cell, right?
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Keep in mind I spent ~ 4 hours driving between Baltimore and Centreville, so I might not want to hike all the way back down to the DC area until Sunday. Especially since I made that trek last night and this afternoon (had a docs appt).
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I'm a lousy night driver, especially in the rain, so too long a voyage on the various expressways would worry me.
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... it's not gonna rain this w/e, right?
cuz i'll be cursing mother nature.
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Saw your response to my latest post, perhaps you can help.
Am looking for some sort of cool place, more or less local to hang at that I can enjoy myself... I'm not particularly outdoorsy, but I enjoy geeking out someplace worthwhile. I also like concerts if the band's any good.
Or you could check my userinfo for some of my other not mentioned interests
Any ideas?
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trystdc.com for an awesome wi-fi coffee shop in Adams Morgan.
Speaking of Adam's Morgan, awesome shops, awesome food.
Fells point in Baltimore has some interesting hang outs, and the folks are friendlier than in DC. (Bias right?;)
ALEXANDRIA (old town) is a DEFINITE exploratory point.
You need to head east this year and hit the beach, too. The ocean is amazing.
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I forgot about ramsheadlive.com for good shows (Emmylou Harris,
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Anyway not a slam or anything since I know why you posted this. Just cause I don't check my friends page every hour and comment doesn't mean I'm not here for my friends.
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I envy you your relationship with
Sorry. :/
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my two cents
Rest assured that folks /are/ listening. The big problem with LJ is that we all post and want feedback... but then we also all get wrapped up in our own lives. On the surface it's a great way to all keep in touch. In reality, though, we try to "keep in touch" with so many people that things fall by the wayside. Life gets in the way.
And in summation.... *hugs*
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