Right, because if nobody comments to you within three hours of posting that means we all hate you and wish you'd shut up about your life. =P Nevermind that not everyone checks LJ in the morning or is even awake yet. Or they don't necessarily feel qualified to comment on your personal life. Nope, the world is just uniting in their hatred of LITE, because he's just so important that he must be universally despised!
You know, I'm not sure if you're being sarcastic or serious, but one way or the other, your response is not entierly called for. Universally Despised? No. Am I feeling support from my comrades? Also no. Sorry if this post is too dramatic for you. :p
You're not going to like me for this, but she's right.
Go ahead. Tell me I'm being a horrible girlfriend and terribly unsupportive. She's still right -- at least she had the guts to tell you, but then she doesn't have to face the kind of retribution I do for saying so.
Why does someone calling it like they see it necessarily preclude friendship? I'd think that would actually be, you know, useful, having someone who cares enough to call bullshit when they see it.
When I ask for friendship, I do not expect to be taking on a "Yes Man", but I do expect to be taking on someone who accepts and appreciates me for who I am. I've felt, recently, like Rachel does not. If she doesn't, then there can't be a friendship. She can remain a nice and kind critic, but not a friend.
Respectfully, I have to disagree with you and the prior poster.
When you're in a rough emotional state and hurting --as opposed to a regular mental state where you're not upset and depressed--do you really sit down and think logically, "Wow, no LJ responses. I bet people are not up yet/at work/haven't gotten online yet/are offline doing stuff" every single time you post something you'd like a response to?
I would have to say I would have trouble believing you if you tell me that yes, even when you're depressed and upset and hurting you still have that presence of mind to think about the rest of the world objectively, rather than through the filter of your own feelings.
Not only that, but even if you can do it -- think that clearly beyond being in pain and emotional distress--that doesn't automatically mean you have the right to expect that every single human being on the planet can also do it. It's a learned skill and not everyone learns at the same speed.
With the above in mind, I think the previous response was a bit more harsh than strictly warranted -- i.e. kicking a man when he's down.
Simply saying "people may not be in a position where they can respond yet, give it some time" would've gotten the same point across without the unnecessary meanness.
And in my humble opinion, meanness was not only unnecessary, but counterproductive, here.
Maybe, even though I've been dating lite for almost two years, this is a surprise to him, but this is what I believe:
If someone's truly upset over something, yes, sympathy is certainly the right way to go.
If someone's being a drama queen/king, and too wrapped up in themselves to realize it, sometimes they need a good kick to snap out of it.
He can claim I'm unsympathetic and unsupportive in his LJ all he wants, but the truth is, I'm not. I'm another human being, doing my best, but when every time he's down, there's a threat of "you're unsupportive and I'm fighting the urge to break up with you again" (which there was, just not in this particular forum), there's a point where my choices are as follows:
1) Be a doormat. 2) Wait it out, which may include distancing myself. 3) Trying to nip it in the bud.
Option 1 sucks for me. Option 2 sucks for lite, if not both of us, since lite usually takes that as "See? You hate me, we're not going to make it." Option 3 is what's left when I can't actually be physically there to make him talk to me.
I asked you, earlier today, to come over so WE COULD TALK, before all this drama.
You can claim you're being sympathetic and supportive. That's bully for you.
Kristen, you should understand. It wasn't all that long ago YOU broke and once we talked I *WAS* sympathetic and supportive. I wasn't perfect and there were times when my support wasn't helpful and I'll admit that, but I was THERE. I was there this weekend when you were exhausted and instead of giving you a boot to the head and telling you to stop whining, I gave you understanding and sympathy.
Frankly, Kristen, your excuse is more holey than the vatican.
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(no subject)
Date: 2005-05-12 03:49 pm (UTC)Nevermind that not everyone checks LJ in the morning or is even awake yet. Or they don't necessarily feel qualified to comment on your personal life. Nope, the world is just uniting in their hatred of LITE, because he's just so important that he must be universally despised!
(no subject)
Date: 2005-05-12 03:54 pm (UTC)Universally Despised? No.
Am I feeling support from my comrades? Also no.
Sorry if this post is too dramatic for you. :p
(no subject)
Date: 2005-05-12 04:00 pm (UTC)Go ahead. Tell me I'm being a horrible girlfriend and terribly unsupportive. She's still right -- at least she had the guts to tell you, but then she doesn't have to face the kind of retribution I do for saying so.
(no subject)
Date: 2005-05-12 05:45 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2005-05-12 06:10 pm (UTC)I had hoped we could become friends. Am I deluding myself that this is likely?
(no subject)
Date: 2005-05-12 06:28 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2005-05-12 06:34 pm (UTC)If she doesn't, then there can't be a friendship. She can remain a nice and kind critic, but not a friend.
(no subject)
Date: 2005-05-12 06:09 pm (UTC)When you're in a rough emotional state and hurting --as opposed to a regular mental state where you're not upset and depressed--do you really sit down and think logically, "Wow, no LJ responses. I bet people are not up yet/at work/haven't gotten online yet/are offline doing stuff" every single time you post something you'd like a response to?
I would have to say I would have trouble believing you if you tell me that yes, even when you're depressed and upset and hurting you still have that presence of mind to think about the rest of the world objectively, rather than through the filter of your own feelings.
Not only that, but even if you can do it -- think that clearly beyond being in pain and emotional distress--that doesn't automatically mean you have the right to expect that every single human being on the planet can also do it. It's a learned skill and not everyone learns at the same speed.
With the above in mind, I think the previous response was a bit more harsh than strictly warranted -- i.e. kicking a man when he's down.
Simply saying "people may not be in a position where they can respond yet, give it some time" would've gotten the same point across without the unnecessary meanness.
And in my humble opinion, meanness was not only unnecessary, but counterproductive, here.
(no subject)
Date: 2005-05-12 06:27 pm (UTC)If someone's truly upset over something, yes, sympathy is certainly the right way to go.
If someone's being a drama queen/king, and too wrapped up in themselves to realize it, sometimes they need a good kick to snap out of it.
He can claim I'm unsympathetic and unsupportive in his LJ all he wants, but the truth is, I'm not. I'm another human being, doing my best, but when every time he's down, there's a threat of "you're unsupportive and I'm fighting the urge to break up with you again" (which there was, just not in this particular forum), there's a point where my choices are as follows:
1) Be a doormat.
2) Wait it out, which may include distancing myself.
3) Trying to nip it in the bud.
Option 1 sucks for me. Option 2 sucks for
(no subject)
Date: 2005-05-12 07:00 pm (UTC)I asked you, earlier today, to come over so WE COULD TALK, before all this drama.
You can claim you're being sympathetic and supportive. That's bully for you.
Kristen, you should understand. It wasn't all that long ago YOU broke and once we talked I *WAS* sympathetic and supportive. I wasn't perfect and there were times when my support wasn't helpful and I'll admit that, but I was THERE. I was there this weekend when you were exhausted and instead of giving you a boot to the head and telling you to stop whining, I gave you understanding and sympathy.
Frankly, Kristen, your excuse is more holey than the vatican.