hkellick: Earth Shattering (Earth Shattering)
I saw 2012 this last weekend. It was a baaaad movie. Absolutely awful. The effects were stunning and it WAS kinda cool to watch the earth be destroyed, but the plot had more holes than swiss cheese.

But it got the old creative juices flowing.

I love end of the world movies. They're usually hokey as heck, but they're amusing.

If I were to ever direct such a movie, I'd start it thusly...

Silliness )

And there's, like, a bit of real science in there too! Maybe not a WHOLE lot, but some.

For the record, I don't think anyone's ever studied the affects that an asteroid hitting the earth would have on global warming. But dust traps heat. So I imagine things would get bad much much quicker.

OK, maybe not. But I'm not changing my disaster movie just cause the science says I'm wrong!
hkellick: (Alas Poor Yorick)
Another Halloween Night. Another Gorefest (tm) Halloween Party. But this year is different. Someone's invited a madman along and he's a real cut-up. Now Billy, Bobby, Marie and Sue are all caught inside the tangled web of the Chainsaw Murderer Who Bears Absolutely No Resemblance To Jason. Will they survive the night or will they, too, fall victim to the ancient evil residing inside that old Warehouse?

Haunted Dancefloor of Death.
Ever Dance with the Devil in the Pale Moonlight?

... I'll have to play with this some. It seems more lame than silly but cool.
hkellick: (FlameStone)
"Why didn't you keep your fuckin' mouth closed?"
"I was just saying... she's one fucked up bitch."
Johnny and Billy looked down at the cold dead eyes, the cold dead hungry eyes. Luckily, there was a iron fence between them and the rabbits.
"Bunnies. Fuckin' bunnies, man."
"Told you she was batshit. Fuckin' vampiric bunnies."
"Oh, shut the fuck up already!"
"Told you it was a fuckin' bad idea... trying to sleep with that bitch. Told you there was something wrong with her!"
"Stop being suck a fucking cu... uhm... turn around, Johnny." Billy poked him from behind,
"What? What's up?" Johnny turned around.
Squirrels. Fuckin' vampiric squirrels.
"Jesus fuckin' christ, that girl was batshit." Johnny muttered once more before pulling out his stakes.
hkellick: (LITE)
I woke up in the middle of Armageddon. That happens alot around these parts.
... waking up... )
hkellick: (LITE)
Now, from Paramounds Entertainment.. the newest, scariest disaster movie ever: 3 to 6 inches!
BE GLUED TO YOUR SEAT as the half a foot of snow DESTROYS National Monuments

Movie Clip: My God! The Washington Monument! It's Fallen over!
Curse You, Mother nature! Curse you!

GASP as the snow grinds government to a halt!

Movie Clip: My God! The snow caused Air Force One To Fly into the ocean! The President is Dead!
My God! The Snow has caved in The White House! And Congress!

ANGUISH at the desperation of common people just like yourselves!

Movie Clip: Hovering Helicopter: And as you can see below you, this is the 100th car in the 243-car pileup on the Beltway! Hundreds dead! Hundreds more injured! When will this madness end?!?!

3 to 6 inches! Coming to a theater near you!!
hkellick: (LITE)
I don't know what posessed me to dreg this old parody out of the archives and see about updating it slightly (only slightly - it's one of my best parodies ever, I think.)

Half of you won't get this.
The other half probably won't care.

But for me.. and the two or three of you who might enjoy this:

ChaoticMUX Pie 2005 )
hkellick: Pittsburgh, City of Bridges (Default)
My apologies (NOT!) to Bob Rivers whom I stole the idea from
*gets out the traditional christmas tune instruments*
Ready? Sing it with me fellas!

The 1st Job at Christmas that I would hate to be
Is Selling those Christmas Trees

The 2nd Job at Christmas that I would hate to be
Radio DJ
and Selling those Christmas Trees

The 3rd Job at Christmas that I would hate to be
Radio DJ
and Selling those Christmas Trees

The 4th Job at Christmas that I would hate to be
Making Christmas Cards
Radio DJ
and Selling those Christmas Trees

The 5th Job at Christmas that I would hate to be
Mall Santa Clause!!
Making Christmas Cards
Playing Christmas Carols!
and Selling those Christmas Trees

The 6th Job at Christmas that I would hate to be
Marriage Counselour
Mall Santa Clause!!
Oh, I'm so sick of Christmas Cards!
God damned Rudolph!
and Selling those Christmas Trees

The 7th Job at Christmas that I would hate to be
Salvation Army
Marriage Counselour
Mall Santa Clause!!
Oh, not more Christmas Cards!
Cleaning up the Egg Nog
Greensleeves isn't even a christmas song!
and Selling those Christmas Trees

The 8th Job at Christmas that I would hate to be
Selling Toys to Children
Come on, give a dollar?
I don't CARE about your in laws!
Mall Santa Clause!!
Who the hell sends out all these things?
No, you can't have any free beer!
Manger AGAIN?!?!?!
and Selling those Christmas Trees

The 9th Job at Christmas that I would hate to be
Parking Lot Attendant
We don't HAVE any more Tickle-Me-Elmos!
It's for a good cause!
Can't you freaks BEHAVE FOR ONE DAY?
Mall Santa Clause!!
You just throw the damn things away ANYWAYS
Puke that way, please
Can't we play some REAL music now?
and Selling those Christmas Trees

The 10th Job at Christmas that I would hate to be
Seasonal Display Attendant
No, you can't park here.
Can't someone staple their mouths shut?
Come on. Tis the season!
Maybe your Crazy Uncle SHOULD shoot you
Mall Santa Clause!!
It's not like anyone really cares about my work
No, I'm not your Marriage Counselor
12 Drugs of Christmas?!?!
and Selling those Christmas Trees

The 11th Job at Christmas that I would hate to be
Head Caroller
Kids, Rudolph isn't a toy.
Sorry, sir, no parking zone.
Oh, shut up!
What about goodwill towards men?
Oh, shut up!
Mall Santa Clause!!
Here's your damned cards
Egg Nog and Rummy?
Only a few more days...
and Selling those Christmas Trees

The 12th Job at Christmas that I would hate to be
Returns Sales Clerk
You're totally out of tune, John
No.. get away from.. ARGH!
Two cars can NOT fit in one space!
No, don't eat that!
Yeah Ho Ho Ho to you too, scrooge
Then why don't you NOT go to mom's for christmas?
Mall Santa Clause!!
At least recycle them.
Out you go. We're closed.
Fuck this. Let's put on some Ozzy.
and Selling those Christmas Trees
hkellick: Pittsburgh, City of Bridges (Default)
(my apologies (not) to They Might Be Giants )

To my secret self, I say these words
"I was careless, I can see that now."
I must be silent, must contain my evil smile.
I want to tell them, them, my mateys, the Chaotic Crowd

When I made a joke about stealing cookies
They all tried to hide them all from me.
But they're like the people on that other place.
Who live in a fantasy where the new place is so cool (like the wizzy)

No one understands.
No one knows my plan.
Why the singing, dancing.
Why the "I'm not cute"
The cookie thieving
Why the smell of burning pixie dust

(LITE gets onto a guitar and solos)

No one understands.
No one knows my plan.
Why the bouncing, pouting
Why the "You're so cute"
The sarcastic jokes
Why the smell of burning pixie dust

In my RL world I bide my time,
Always thinking.
Always busy working out the birdhouse
Working out the tiny details of the birdhouse.
Thinking out the burning pixie dust...

No one understands.
No one knows my plan.
I must be silent, must contain my evil smile.
I want to tell you.
You my Journal, you the readers too.
No one understands!
No one knows my plan!
hkellick: Pittsburgh, City of Bridges (Default)
Another random entry coming. Consider yourself warned.

Let's start with today's Subject. I was at the mall yesterday.. didn't buy a whole lot. Put money down on The Sims: Hot Date which SHOULD BE OUT IN LESS THAN A WEEK :D :D :D and bought a new Terry Pratchett Book "The Amazing Maurice and his Educated Rodents" which is Terry Pratchett's take on the Pied Piper story.. in Discworld! It should be amusing and fun! :D

On the subject of new things, my Brown Derbies CD "Jericho" FINALLY got here (I only ordered it in AUGUST) but it's here and it's cool and the new one out next year sometime should be even cooler cause they are covering my all time favoritest song ("Birdhouse In Your Soul" for those of y'all who don't know the LITEster well enough). So.. major :D :D :D :D!!

What else? Oh! Welcome our newest livejournaler, [ profile] nissacrosseyed whom I personally gave a code to so she could get a livejournal. I think I'm going to steal something from her and start having today's Quote of the Day. I'll try to keep the quote of the day topical depending on what amuses me or what's on my mind.

So.. I had an odd idea today I'm kick around. An idea for a story I'd like to try to write. The working title of this story is "The REAL story behind the music." The idea? A story written completely in the TMBG Universe. It would star some mad scientist (working Name... Mr. Klaw) who has succesfully been able to test his new invention. A tuning fork that plays a tone that basically acts as a sonic lobotomy. Once you hear the tuning fork, you do more or less whatever Mr. Klaw says to do.
And of course like every mad scientist.. he intends to take over the world. And so he hatches the plan to use these tuning forks in New York City (nor like ours.. bigger, more futuristic. nearly every building is a skyscraper etc.) by adding them to the bells in the new big church they're building.
I haven't worked out who the good guys will be except for an international spy (who was a Hotel Detective, but now she's better connected).
Oh.. and in the middle of all this.. Aliens from Venus land and a cult leader (working name: Spider..) take power.
And all in all it should be a fun romp through a vaguely science-fiction and maybe slightly fantasy world.
Like I said, it's just an idea I'm kicking around.

So Kareila got onto ChaoticMUX yesterday. Apparently she wondered why 6 people had left Chaotic in 1 week. Those six people... Deve, fil, Dustkitten, arabella, scoob and Circa, all wanted off for more or less different reasons. Deve didn't feel right there anymore because he couldn't thrive there and still be himself (no one wanted to hear his Anti-America attitude), fil left over an argument with Aldar (well... last straw apparently) and was the gentleman I posted of a while back who said "You're no more civilized than my dog's left testicle". Dustkitten.. I told you about. And the other three left because of me and my posts two days hence.
So Kareila checks out the livejournal post and I'm sitting here going "Will KAR think it's Sexist/Racist etc?" Kareila is the most open-minded easy going person I know.. if she felt it was sexist or racist.. it probably was.
Anyways her comments were "I'm not sure that ultra-feminism has anything to do with the rise of violence agaisnt women." and that the whole thing had been blown completely out of proportion and SHE still likes me.
To me this was basically like "Alright.. despite what ara and scoob say, I'm NOT suddenly an asshole!" so I feel slightly better now that I've passed the Kar test.

That's all I can think of posting. So I'll end with Today's quote of the day.

Today's Quote of the Day.
"A wise man is superior to any insults which can be put upon him, and the best reply to unseemly behavior is patience and moderation." - Moliere
hkellick: Pittsburgh, City of Bridges (Default)
Lots of things going on... I'll try to mention them all.

First off.. two people have asked now.. what IS Chaotica? OK... I'm not feeling particularly secretive about this. Chaotica is going to be a Q&A site, akin to The Conversatron and Forum 2010. I am working on this endeavor with [personal profile] zorkian, [personal profile] soreth and fil from ChaoticMUX. fil is helping me with the appropriate code. Marky is offering the site (most likely and Soreth is going to just be fun to work with on this ;) So that's what Chaotica is... I hope to get it up and running before next year. I hope. :) I really hope. :)

So... maybe HALF an hour after posting my message about not leaving Chaotic after all, my computer died. I can't say as I know what's wrong with it, but for the $140 I just gave to CompUSA last night to diagnose it and fast (not including whatever I'll pay to replace the broken part.) I hope to get it back in my hands quickly.
Especially since I'm keeping records of my weight loss on that computer and I feel really odd not being able to go down, put in my weight for the day and see where it now says I am, weightwise.

It's kind of funny.. I'm not so much bothered by my lack of ability to get online and even to check email. I just want my computer so I can add my weight for the day in and see where I am.
OK, maybe not FUNNY.. but.. amusing? Odd? I dunno.l

So, as my computer was not functioning for the night on Monday, I decided to instead go to see a movie. I went out and saw Iron Monkey. Oh my god, but this film was fun. Various scenes were funny bordering sometiems on ridiculous (the main bad guy's flying sleeves of death and his Scorpion'esque (from Mortal Kombat) dialog was too funny! I hardly noticed at all that it was a subtitled movie.. it hardly mattered (unlike Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon where the subtitles made all the difference and i never really understood the movie.) In this movie, the bad guys are REALLY bad and the good guys are REALLY good. And the martial arts scenes... WHOOOEEE! Did I mention i REALLY enjoyed this movie? I did. An awful lot. I think I'll see it again :)

Also, I believe I am going to go see Penn and Teller (rather famous magicians) on wednesday. They are coming to UB and I've always loved magic shows. So that looks to be interesting.

What else? Oh.. I read my weight today. I like it :) I LOVE looking at a scale and seeing an all-time low weight. My weight today was 277.5 (which doesn't mean the average weight I'm using to define my real weight is that low, just that the one reading was.) and, like I said, I love looking down and seeing these new all-time low weights. It really brightens my day.

That's all I can think of to say. Maybe this post wasn't quite as long as I'd planned. Oh well :)

hkellick: Pittsburgh, City of Bridges (Default)
I'm listening to Theme to "Haunted Dancefloor of Death" again. Over and over. I love all my songs but I feel like Dancefloor is one of my all time bests. I mean.. it really sounds, to me, like the theme to some terrible slasher movie.
I think I'd like to make that movie, Theme to "Haunted Dancefloor of Death". I could provide all the music, of course. All I need is a crew willing to help me make what would probably be the all time worst slasher movie of all time.
I can see it now, the plot (or lack thereof). It starts in the middle of a discoteche. The lights go out, a stab, a scream.. thus starts the movie. It would be the worst part of all the terrible slasher movies ever. It would be so hokey it would be funny.
Hmmm... any of y'all in InternetLand want to help me see this vision come true? Even if it never made it to the big screen, it would be a wickedly funny home video to show your kids and say "look how demented your daddy/mommy" is.
I can see a more than passing similarity to Phantom of the Opera in this too.. like.. Phantom of the Dancefloor but alot more deaths and alot less singing.
But there'd be my music, of course.
I like the idea =D.

December 2015

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