Plot Bunny: Javan Rhinocerous
May. 18th, 2009 07:45 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
hkellickThis was it. This was the one. Soon, the world would be hers. And it started with the most unlikely of species, the Javan Rhinoceros.
Everyone knows that Javan Rhinocerouses are rare creatures, rarely seen. But very few had what she had, and none would use it as she would. She'd obtained, through great pains and not a little treachery, a genetic sample from a Javan Rhino in the San Francisco Zoo. It was enough of a sample, enough to create her own ARMY of giant, irritable Javan Rhinoceri..? Rhinocerouses? ... Regardless...
It was a brilliant plan. She'd overseen the cloning herself, as well as the implantation of the mind-control chips. She'd tested a few and were comfortable with how well they worked. Now, all she needed to do was to put the plan into action!
"Jennings!" she cried out, from her seat in front of the Evil Supercomputer. Actually, it was a 5-year old Mac Powerbook, but she refused to call it this. It simply wasn't an EVIL enough name, and in her profession, one had to have style if one has any hopes of Job Advancement. She called for her minion once more, waiting impatiently to begin her next plan.
Eventually, he creeped over.
Jennings was a pathetic creature. Tall, lanky, with short, black, overgreased hair and a not-quite smile. There was an air around him that reminded her of Grease and Smoke. Not so much in a.. come home from 9 hours a the mill sort of way, so much as a... more than skindeep.. greasiness. He was a putrid creature, all lanky limbs and too pale skin and the perpetual smell around him. She had once tried to make him shower, in the hopes that some hot water and soap would remove the grease from him, but he broke out in hives and looked (and smelled) rather like a bedraggled dog.
"Yes, Mistress?" Jennings asked, hands held open in supplication. He bent over slightly, not exactly a bow, and she tried to contain her shudder at the sight of him.
"Jennings! Please connect me to the UN. We must alert them to the Evil Plan! Long have they smirked at me, laughed at me, called me nothing but a distraction, but this time.. this time they shall bend down and kiss my feet, or they shall die." The smile came easily to her. Some had called the smile crazy, but it wasn't crazy at all. Simply Evil, and a little mad. She'd spent hours in front of a mirror perfecting it. Few understood the rigors of being Evil...
She'd tried the Evil Genius route. She'd signed up for the correspondence course, but flunked out after year two. So instead, she had to go for more of the Evil Temptress sort of thing. Which honestly gets boring after a while. There's just no CONNECTION! After a while, all the people you tempt just look the same. Sometimes, she just longed for a deep personal connection with someone. Someone who could appreciate and care for her, despite her Inate Evilness. She looked around her, looked over at Jennings and this time could not contain her shudder.
She adjusted her Evil and Skintight Uniform, checked her hair and makeup (ah, the rigors of being an Evil Temptress) and sighed impatiently. She looked over at Jennings once more, to see how close to done he was. And just as he looked over, Jennings screamed. She watched, in mild amusement, as a bolt of electricity shot from his greasy hair to the telecommunication equipment. She wondered briefly if she should bother to make sure he was OK and thought twice of it. That simply wasn't what Evil people DID!
She tapped her fingers and looked again at the World Domination Threat Device (a five year old webcam that had come with the Mac...), and thought ahead. She didn't expect very much from the UN. This wasn't EXACTLY her first time threatening them. It wasn't for the first time that she wished she'd been able to finish her Evil Genius correspondence course. Perhaps she'd have avoided some of the BONEHEADED mistakes she'd made.
You have to KNOW what you're doing, if you're going to take over the world. It was a Dog eat Dog world out there, and competition for Leader of the World was AWFULLY strong. Why, just last week she had to personally fly over to Lisbon in her private jet to have a word with De-Menton the Destroyer, to try to convince him to wait a week so that she could have her chance without his stupid "Use the Hammer of Thor to destroy O'Hare International Airport" plan anyways. She shook her head a little as she considered that stupid plan. Seriously, how would destroying ONE MEASLY AIRPORT help one to take over the world, anyways? Unless by "take over the world", you mean "make life inconvenient for a few passengers for a few hours until the FAA gets it all worked out and oh, by the way, here's the US Army at your door to say hello!!!"
Which is why the Pentagon HAD to be the first place she'd strike with her army of Giant Mutated Javan Rinoceri ANYWAYS. It was that or Fort Dix, and she decided that the Pentagon would be a much better choice. I mean, seriously, imagine the symbolism of her, sitting amongst the ruins of the Pentagon sending her army out to cause havoc. The UN would finally pay attention to her, then!
.. Though, the .. potential innunedo of her attacking and taking over Fort Dix. Well, it would be worth a snicker or too and it WOULD sort of go along with the whole Evil Temptress thing..
No! No, she'd made up her mind. It was the Pentagon. It had to be. She wouldn't strike much fear or terror sitting around Fort Dix with her army of Horny Mammals, would she?
Jennings cleared his throat and she realized she was on. Annoyed at Jennings again, she looked straight at her webcam..
"Gentlemen..." she said
"Doctor Simpossible!" the head of the International Court of Justice, retired general Clint McCullough asked "What do you want this time? Going to try to wall us all in again?"
She glared at the camera, angrily. She would not be toyed with by these lesser men anymore. Yes, yes.. truly the Great Wall around the Earth had not worked quite the way she'd planned. And it's true, her self-replicating satellites she'd launched had stopped working before even blocking out all the sunlight from the great state of Iowa, but this time.. this plan was different. It was brilliance, sure to work...
"Mr. McCullough. We meet again. I should let you know that you have precisely 24 hours to wire to me exactly 100 billion dollars to an account which I shall provide to you.. or you shall face an army unlike any you've ever faced before. 24 hours, gentlemen."
Instead of fear, she saw mirth on his face "Oh no. Another army unlike any we've seen before. We're not precisely shaking in our boots here, Doctor Simpossible. "
She smiled at him, a mirthless smile and cut off the transmission. She'd expected no less. She knew their opinions of her, but this.. this was different. This plan would WORK.
She tugged at her cape and walked off towards the pen. Inside, she knew there were over 500 giant, rather irritable and touchy Javan Rhinoceri. All she needed to do was transport them..
This time.. this time it would work.
"Jennings!" she called out, caught in the sheer ecstasy of a brilliant, new plan "Fetch the plane! We have a date with the Pentagon!" she laughed, then. It was hard not to laugh. It came with the territory and, honestly, it was damned satisfying.
"Yes, mistress" Jennings replied, half-bowing in supplication. Eventually she'd really need to do something with him. But not now. Now, she had BETTER Things to do. Now, she would FINALLY TAKE OVER THE WORLD!!!
Everyone knows that Javan Rhinocerouses are rare creatures, rarely seen. But very few had what she had, and none would use it as she would. She'd obtained, through great pains and not a little treachery, a genetic sample from a Javan Rhino in the San Francisco Zoo. It was enough of a sample, enough to create her own ARMY of giant, irritable Javan Rhinoceri..? Rhinocerouses? ... Regardless...
It was a brilliant plan. She'd overseen the cloning herself, as well as the implantation of the mind-control chips. She'd tested a few and were comfortable with how well they worked. Now, all she needed to do was to put the plan into action!
"Jennings!" she cried out, from her seat in front of the Evil Supercomputer. Actually, it was a 5-year old Mac Powerbook, but she refused to call it this. It simply wasn't an EVIL enough name, and in her profession, one had to have style if one has any hopes of Job Advancement. She called for her minion once more, waiting impatiently to begin her next plan.
Eventually, he creeped over.
Jennings was a pathetic creature. Tall, lanky, with short, black, overgreased hair and a not-quite smile. There was an air around him that reminded her of Grease and Smoke. Not so much in a.. come home from 9 hours a the mill sort of way, so much as a... more than skindeep.. greasiness. He was a putrid creature, all lanky limbs and too pale skin and the perpetual smell around him. She had once tried to make him shower, in the hopes that some hot water and soap would remove the grease from him, but he broke out in hives and looked (and smelled) rather like a bedraggled dog.
"Yes, Mistress?" Jennings asked, hands held open in supplication. He bent over slightly, not exactly a bow, and she tried to contain her shudder at the sight of him.
"Jennings! Please connect me to the UN. We must alert them to the Evil Plan! Long have they smirked at me, laughed at me, called me nothing but a distraction, but this time.. this time they shall bend down and kiss my feet, or they shall die." The smile came easily to her. Some had called the smile crazy, but it wasn't crazy at all. Simply Evil, and a little mad. She'd spent hours in front of a mirror perfecting it. Few understood the rigors of being Evil...
She'd tried the Evil Genius route. She'd signed up for the correspondence course, but flunked out after year two. So instead, she had to go for more of the Evil Temptress sort of thing. Which honestly gets boring after a while. There's just no CONNECTION! After a while, all the people you tempt just look the same. Sometimes, she just longed for a deep personal connection with someone. Someone who could appreciate and care for her, despite her Inate Evilness. She looked around her, looked over at Jennings and this time could not contain her shudder.
She adjusted her Evil and Skintight Uniform, checked her hair and makeup (ah, the rigors of being an Evil Temptress) and sighed impatiently. She looked over at Jennings once more, to see how close to done he was. And just as he looked over, Jennings screamed. She watched, in mild amusement, as a bolt of electricity shot from his greasy hair to the telecommunication equipment. She wondered briefly if she should bother to make sure he was OK and thought twice of it. That simply wasn't what Evil people DID!
She tapped her fingers and looked again at the World Domination Threat Device (a five year old webcam that had come with the Mac...), and thought ahead. She didn't expect very much from the UN. This wasn't EXACTLY her first time threatening them. It wasn't for the first time that she wished she'd been able to finish her Evil Genius correspondence course. Perhaps she'd have avoided some of the BONEHEADED mistakes she'd made.
You have to KNOW what you're doing, if you're going to take over the world. It was a Dog eat Dog world out there, and competition for Leader of the World was AWFULLY strong. Why, just last week she had to personally fly over to Lisbon in her private jet to have a word with De-Menton the Destroyer, to try to convince him to wait a week so that she could have her chance without his stupid "Use the Hammer of Thor to destroy O'Hare International Airport" plan anyways. She shook her head a little as she considered that stupid plan. Seriously, how would destroying ONE MEASLY AIRPORT help one to take over the world, anyways? Unless by "take over the world", you mean "make life inconvenient for a few passengers for a few hours until the FAA gets it all worked out and oh, by the way, here's the US Army at your door to say hello!!!"
Which is why the Pentagon HAD to be the first place she'd strike with her army of Giant Mutated Javan Rinoceri ANYWAYS. It was that or Fort Dix, and she decided that the Pentagon would be a much better choice. I mean, seriously, imagine the symbolism of her, sitting amongst the ruins of the Pentagon sending her army out to cause havoc. The UN would finally pay attention to her, then!
.. Though, the .. potential innunedo of her attacking and taking over Fort Dix. Well, it would be worth a snicker or too and it WOULD sort of go along with the whole Evil Temptress thing..
No! No, she'd made up her mind. It was the Pentagon. It had to be. She wouldn't strike much fear or terror sitting around Fort Dix with her army of Horny Mammals, would she?
Jennings cleared his throat and she realized she was on. Annoyed at Jennings again, she looked straight at her webcam..
"Gentlemen..." she said
"Doctor Simpossible!" the head of the International Court of Justice, retired general Clint McCullough asked "What do you want this time? Going to try to wall us all in again?"
She glared at the camera, angrily. She would not be toyed with by these lesser men anymore. Yes, yes.. truly the Great Wall around the Earth had not worked quite the way she'd planned. And it's true, her self-replicating satellites she'd launched had stopped working before even blocking out all the sunlight from the great state of Iowa, but this time.. this plan was different. It was brilliance, sure to work...
"Mr. McCullough. We meet again. I should let you know that you have precisely 24 hours to wire to me exactly 100 billion dollars to an account which I shall provide to you.. or you shall face an army unlike any you've ever faced before. 24 hours, gentlemen."
Instead of fear, she saw mirth on his face "Oh no. Another army unlike any we've seen before. We're not precisely shaking in our boots here, Doctor Simpossible. "
She smiled at him, a mirthless smile and cut off the transmission. She'd expected no less. She knew their opinions of her, but this.. this was different. This plan would WORK.
She tugged at her cape and walked off towards the pen. Inside, she knew there were over 500 giant, rather irritable and touchy Javan Rhinoceri. All she needed to do was transport them..
This time.. this time it would work.
"Jennings!" she called out, caught in the sheer ecstasy of a brilliant, new plan "Fetch the plane! We have a date with the Pentagon!" she laughed, then. It was hard not to laugh. It came with the territory and, honestly, it was damned satisfying.
"Yes, mistress" Jennings replied, half-bowing in supplication. Eventually she'd really need to do something with him. But not now. Now, she had BETTER Things to do. Now, she would FINALLY TAKE OVER THE WORLD!!!
