hkellick: This is my job! (Work)
Using the Up-Goer Five Text Editor, using only the most common thousands words.

AKA.. how to explain my job to a bunch of five year olds.

When it rains, water moves all around. My job is to find out, during a large rain, how much water moves around and how high the water gets. When people know how much water moves and how high the water gets, they can make sure that the water does not hurt them or their homes and businesses.
hkellick: Weird Al's "Dare to be Stupid" Icon (Dare To Be Stupid)
I can't embed it so.. just.. click on this. :)
hkellick: Pittsburgh, City of Bridges (Dear God)
Ack! A Snape!
hkellick: Pittsburgh, City of Bridges (Default)
Bernard Shifman is a Moron Spammer. It's worth the half an hour or so read for a good hearty laugh at how pathetic this man is.
hkellick: Pittsburgh, City of Bridges (Default)
(Stolen From Lorelei's Livejournal)
(Re-edited 12:00 PM Tuesday 9/4/2001)

Answer all of these questions with a lyric from a song.
As a note, I'm taking this survey not at all seriously, so going for fun and silly answers. :)

**Are you male or female?
"Cause I'm a 21st century digital boy. I don't know how to live, but I got a lot of toys" - "21st Century Digital Boy" - Bad Religion

**Describe your neighborhood:
"These are people in my neighborhood. In my neighborhood. In my neighborhood, yeah..." - Sesame Street
Not serious enough, OK?
"Now in the street, there is violence and lots of work to be done." - "Electric Avenue" - Eddy Grant

** How do you look?
"White flakes of dandruff, they fell off of his head. And coke-bottle glasses. And breath like Mr. Ed. Ooooooooooh, what an ugly man he was. Oooooooooooh, what an ugly man he was" - "What An Ugly Man He Was" - Bob Rivers and Twisted Radio
"Girlfriend took me to meet her dad. Didn't like me because I looked so bad." - "I've Got A Fang" - They Might Be Giants

**If you could say something flirtatious to someone, what would it be?
"When I said that I'd be faithful, when I'd promised I'd be true. When I'd swore that I could never be with anyone but you. When I told you that I loved you with those tender words spoke.. i was only kidding. Now can't you take a joke?" - Weird Al Yankovic
Not serious enough, eh?
"Sweat, baby, sweat, baby. Sex is a texas drought and you do the kind of stuff that only prince would sing about" - "The Bad Touch" - Bloodhound Gang
Alright alright, I'll be a little more honest
"When I feel alone, I reach for you and you bring me home. When I'm lost at sea, I hear your voice and it carries me" - "Heaven is a Place on Earth" - Belinda Carlisle
"I'd ask you, if you don't mind, to kiss you a hundred times" - "If I Wasn't Shy" - They Might Be Giants

**How do you feel about the opposite sex?
"People Are strange, when you're a stranger. Faces look ugly when you're alone. Women seem wicked when you're unwanted. Streets are uneven when you're down." - 'People are Strange" - The Doors

**Any words of wisdom:
"I'm not alone. You're not alone. (skip some) You see me. You hear me. There are millions think just like me." - "Outsider" - Chumbawumba
"That's the kind of world this is: a kind of world that spins." - 'Magic" - Too Much Joy
"Yes the road is narrow, Yes the road is tough, but whoever remains on it, shall not die, but live on" - "Basic Instruction" - Burlap to Chasmere

** What are you doing right now?
"Move your feet to the beat. You can do it till it peaks. You can dance, you can jam, you can do it till it ends" - "Keep on Dancin" - LITE
"Feet meet the beat, glad to meet ya. Fancy moves are just how I need ya. Side to side, jump up and turn. Set the fire, boys, and let's burn." - "How To Dance" - Bingo Boys

** Send a message to someone in your past
"I-i-i-i don't need your poison. I-i-i-i don't need control. I-i-i don't need forgiveness. I-i-i don't need YOU." - "Goodbye" - Gravity Kills

** If you could say one thing to your first lover, what would it be?
"If I could turn back time. If I could find a way. I'd take back those words that had hurt you..." - "Turn Back Time" - Cher

** What do you usually do for fun?
"Talk with your mouth full. Bite the hand that feeds you. Bite off more than you can chew. What can you do? Dare to be Stupid!" - "Dare to be Stupid" - Weird Al Yankovic
"I wanna log into you..." - "Log Into You" - The Arrogant Worm
"I love my computer. You make me feel alright. Every waking hour and every lonely night" - "I Love My Computer" - Bad Religion
"Sim-Hilarities, Sim-Hilarities, Sim-Hilarities in my life..." - "Sim-Hilarities" - Electric Funstuff

** Justify your existence.
"Every village has an idiot, a harmless monster who soaks up all our fears." - "Pride of Franksenstein" Too Much Joy
"Blue Canary in the Outlet by the Lightswitch who watches over you..." - "Birdhouse In Your Soul" - They Might Be Giants

**What do you think about America?
"The rent's too high, the air's unclean, the beaches are dirty and the people are mean. And the women are big and the men are dumb and the children are loopy cause they live in a slum. The water is polluted ... (skip)...they dress real bad... " - "The Toronto Song" - Three Dead Trolls In A Baggie
(Yes, I know it's about Toronto, but it's what I think about America)
"A place that's worn, A sad pun that reflects a sadder mess" - "The World's Adress" - They Might Be Giants

** What do you think about school?
"I love my classes.. (skip) Things are going great and they're only getting better. I'm doing alright, getting good grades..." - "The Future's So Bright (I Gotta Wear Shades) " - Timbuk 3

**How do you feel right now?
"I'm crazy, just like you.." - "Crazy" - Barenaked Ladies
"I'm insane. I'm insane." - "Absolutely Bill's Mood" - They Might Be Giants

**Any closing words?
"What's to be down with the Wild Boy? Someone's let him out of his cage." - "Jared (The Wild Boy)" - Moxy Fruvous

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