Want to build a deeper, richer community? Learning how to handle conflict is key, the Gottmans say

As Julie told Good Good Good, in the decades they have spent doing this work they have observed time and time again: “Conflict can really lead to greater understanding between people.”

The trick is approaching conflict with a goal to understand; not to conquer.

“Speak in such a way that you don't sabotage yourself getting listened to,” Julie said. “That means avoiding criticism, contempt, defensiveness, totally shutting down, or stonewalling.”

( Read more... )

Current Mood: busy

ysabetwordsmith

Virtual 'University Of The People' provides a free college education to anyone in the world

The university offers accredited certificates, associate and bachelor’s degree programs in business administration, computer science, and health science, and master’s degree programs in business administration, information technology, and education.

There is no tuition involved in obtaining a degree, but a variety of fees are required that add up to about $5,000 for a bachelor’s degree.

( Read more... )

Current Mood: busy

sunnymodffa posting in

fail_fandomanon

it takes time to get out the batlube and the batchaps and the batdildo and the batnipple-clamps and the...etc., etc.

I thought Batman kept everything in his Bat belt. Are you telling me he came unprepared? 😱

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celli

( You're about to view content that the journal owner has advised should be viewed with discretion. )

case posting in

fandomsecrets

⌈ Secret Post #6888 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.

[NYTimes Connections & Only Connect]

( More! )

Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 00 pages, 00 secrets from Secret Submission Post #983.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

francinefrenski posting in

officialsimsecret

WARNINGS
-> NSFW Sims image
-> Paralives
-> Animated .gif

001.

( + 24 more )

>NOTICES & REMINDERS:
Next week's Submissions is here.

Please click here to report any comments that break our rules or the Dreamwidth TOS.

Comments may be screened and/or CAPTCHAs enabled due to spam.

There were no unposted secrets this week. Have a good weekend!

francinefrenski posting in

officialsimsecret

1) Comments are screened, but please submit secrets anonymously.
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Please note: Imgbb.com is frequently breaking images, we no longer recommend using them because the image is often broken by the time Friday comes around.

davidgillon

The House of Lords have been taking evidence on the Assisted Suicide Bill.

Disabled folk to Parliament: The possibility of being compelled into assisted suicide scares us

Pro-assisted suicide mob to Parliament: a few disabled people coerced into assisted suicide is still worth it.

Honestly couldn't make it up

Current Mood: Grrrrr!

ysobel posting in

agonyaunt

Dear Miss Manners: What is the polite way to eat large sushi rolls? Sometimes they’re too big to comfortably eat whole without gagging!

Dissect them.

Miss Manners does not usually condone deconstructing food in public, but these are desperate times. Use your chopsticks to pull out the insides and eat them separately. Then either squish the remaining rice and seaweed together and eat it in two bites or use the side of the chopstick to cut it in half.

Perhaps the sight of their beautiful creations being desecrated will inspire the chefs to make more manageable bites. Or at least have them wonder why everyone is suddenly ordering them as takeout instead.

cosmolinguist

I am endlessly amused that V and my mom have the same birthday. This is all the proof I need that astrology is unreliable: I could hardly imagine two more different people.

V liked the present I got for them, a t-shirt that says "All done" on it, under a sheet ghost who is apparently doing the bsl sign for that thing? I didn't even know that, V told me. I already thought sheet ghost (which they love) plus sentiment they find very relatable was good enough, but they're even more delighted with it than I expected.

And the flowers I ordered for my mom actually did turn up (doing this kind of thing internationally when you're sending them to the middle of nowhere is always an ordeal and I had to use a new company this year so I worried)!

Mom sent me an email thanking me. I even got what was clearly meant to be a photo attached, but is instead a two-second video of the flowers sitting on their kitchen counter. Which is even cuter if anything.

(I only get like one photo from my parents a year, because in between they forget how to attach them to emails.)

mx_morden

I know almost half of the month is gone, but I'm hoping I'll manage to read these four:

Untitled-design-1

before December. Cross your fingers for me, because I'm being REALLY bad at reading, lately :°

davidgillon

After three days in a row of not getting to sleep until after the sun was up (and then being woken mid-morning), I've basically spent the entire day asleep, apart from answering several phone calls from my sister and then almost immediately falling asleep again*.

I answered those sitting cross-legged on the bed, and I fell asleep in that position and then slept that way for several hours. My hips are NOT happy with me.

* I was particularly impressed that I picked up the thread of a dream I'd been having before one call afterwards. Strange dream for me, unusually non-action movie style.

Current Mood: Ow!
Current Location: Not cross-legged, much

ysabetwordsmith

Today is mostly sunny and quite warm -- it's 75F outside.

I fed the birds. I've seen a few sparrows and house finches.

I put out water for the birds.

Current Mood: busy

ysabetwordsmith

Well, it's not Monday, but

dialecticdreamer is running a Magpie prompt call that will stay open until Friday night. Leave prompts, get ficlets!

The theme for this month is Disruption and Opportunity.

Life throws disruptions at us all the time, but sometimes, those disruptions are opportunities. Genna Saint Croix, driving halfway across the country at the invitation of a lazy detective to check a John Doe body, has a major disruption amid a life-altering crisis already going on. That she stopped to help a teenager who convinced his pals not to rob her was an opportunity… for both of them.

Current Mood: busy

purplecat

A stretch of high castle wall including an impressively solid gatehouse. Two big turrets flank two stories. Four windows on the upper floor and a single central arched entrance on the lower floor.

Beaumaris

smallhobbit

Read book on Brueghel

I had planned to finish this in September, which I would have managed had I started reading it in April, but I didn't begin until June, so I've only just finished now. But it's still done within the year.

This book has almost all the paintings by Brueghel the Elder. I had requested it as a Christmas present, and had read up on a few of the paintings, but this time I worked all through the book. The paintings themselves are wonderful - very detailed and certainly worth looking at closely. The book was semi-interesting, helpfully pointing out details not to be missed, but at the same time the theological interpretation was very much of the author and extremely narrow-minded. Every painting was examined in the same way, and I frequently disagreed with the interpretation.

Having said that, I didn't want the book for the commentary, but to have the paintings and the challenge this year was to look properly at them, so I was happy with the outcome.

conuly posting in

agonyaunt

DEAR HARRIETTE: A friend and I were watching a popular TV series together. The show is based on high schoolers who struggle with substance use disorder, mental health, anger management, sexual exploitation and more. We both were making comments regarding our shock throughout the episodes, but at some point, my friend looked over to me and said he feels sorry for my future children. I was wounded. That is such a strong statement.

I tried to unpack with him what he had said, but I didn't get far. He shared that he thought my expectations were too aggressive and that no kid will be able to thrive around me. I think of parenting as a balance between structure and vulnerability, and I've always hoped I will be an honest and understanding mom. Neither of us has children, by the way.

I want my friend to know his harsh critiques impacted me and that he should be more mindful with his opinions in the future. Is it even worth revisiting this conversation? -- Bad Mom

( Read more... )

renfys

finally begin

A Pepper/Natasha mix

Hardest Of Heart :- Florence + The Machine
Keep The Car Running :- Arcade Fire
Let Me Down Gently :- La Roux
Between Sheets :- Imogen Heap
Underneath It All :- No Doubt
The [Shipped] Gold Standard :- Fall Out Boy
Munich :- Editors (or Corrine Bailey Rae cover)
Only If For A Night :- Florence + The Machine
Oil And Water :- Incubus
Apply Some Pressure :- Maximo Park
Finally Begin :- Cold War Kids
Wait a Minute :- Sub-Radio

Listen on Spotify / Apple Music

prixmium

I am the kind of person for whom general strokes spoilers don't bother me at all. In fact, my best friend is pretty correct that strategic, bullet point type spoilers for something make me more inclined to finish it or give it a shot in the first place.

The other day, she finished up the Amphoreus plot in Honkai Star Rail.

She's been playing HSR since launch, but she never tried to get me into it despite my being a slow but interested Genshin player until this plot came around.

I come and go with my ability to focus on even playing video games, but I love it so much.

Participating in a fic big bang earlier this year kind of hurt my confidence in a weird way that most other writing challenges have not. I don't know if it was just timing or what.

I really want my writing juice back. My daydream space seems to be coming back just a little bit, but so far I cannot make it shape anything that I can turn into something I can share. I'm creatively frustrated but maybe not as hopeless as I was. Hope it sticks.

Current Mood: artistic

conuly posting in

agonyaunt

1. Dear Eric: For the last 45 years or so I’ve hosted Thanksgiving for my family. I’ve had as many as 25 people. My sister has two sons, and they’ve always stayed with me. Quite frankly, it’s now an issue. Only one son comes but he now has three sons of his own, ranging from 22 to 8. My sister also stays with me. They come on Wednesday and stay till Friday. It’s a lot considering all I have to do for the holiday.

I know if I say something about a hotel, they will be highly insulted.

My daughter also comes and stays, but that’s different. She’s one person and my daughter. Advice?

– Overwhelmed

( Read more... )

****

2. Dear Prudence,

My brother has good relationships with everybody but refuses to be part of Thanksgiving, Christmas, or large group events because he says that while he loves us individually, we’re a nightmare collectively. I get it and, frankly, I would love to do the same—my parents and wider family are lovely but bicker and squabble when they get together, particularly over politics, which gets ever uglier. But I also know that my family finds his attitude deeply hurtful. I’m stuck between wanting to opt out myself or trying to persuade him to change his mind because I can see how sad it makes my mother. My instinct is to stay out of it; we’re all adults. But I also feel a bit jealous and miffed. Is there a way forward?

—Stuck in the Middle

( Read more... )

****

3. Dear A.J.,

My husband’s brother, “George,” is a recovering alcoholic. He’s been sober for eight months. The thing is, Thanksgiving is coming up, and we’ve always served wine with dinner.

My husband thinks it would be completely inappropriate for us to do so this year because George is coming over, and he doesn’t want him to be “tempted.” I understand that George is going to be battling his alcoholism for the rest of his life, but at the same time, he can’t expect the world around him to be dry everywhere he goes and needs to be able to navigate settings where alcohol is served. This is turning into a sticking point between my husband and me. Is my husband right? Am I being thoughtless?

—Warring Over Wine

( Read more... )

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The color of infinity inside an empty glass

The random insanity of your not-entirely-typical geek

Communities

Education

FFA DW Post #2384 - NO BATPLUG?!

I can haz home?

[ SECRET POST #6888 ]

Secrets Post #935

Submission Post #936

Department of Couldn't Make It Up

Um what

Happy birthday Wendy Carlos too

(no subject)

Well, that was sub-optimal

Birdfeeding

Magpie Monday

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25 Things in 2025 - Thing #14

Harriette continues to be the worst

(no subject)

finally begin

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