When Worlds Collide

[hkellick]

This is going to be a usual splork, so... I shall be verbose (as usual!)

I guess let's start with livejournal, ever so quickly, before I move on.
I started livejournalling in 2001. At the time, I was still in college, as were most of my friends. I had all the time in the world to hang out online, as did my friends, and we used it.
But times change and people grow up, get jobs, and get busy. So it is. I don't feel bad about it, it just simply is. And maybe people didn't have as much to say anymore. It's funny how one day seems to run into another when your life becomes... regimented. Wake up, eat, go to work, go home, cook/eat, do chores, go to sleep.
Not to suggest everyone's life is like that. I'm really describing my own.

Enter Calorie-Count.
I came in looking for a place to help me find the support I need to stick with the weight loss.
And I found it, and more.. I found a whole different community. One that was active and fun and interesting. I met people who could make my work days pass by quicker and would amuse me, and I did cherish it.
And I made friends with people. I met some of them in person and strived to meet others in person. I'd still like to meet more of them in person.
I gave back to the community, in a very useful and helpful way that earned me great admiration in some and great enmity in others.

But... along came a bully. Well, really, the bully was there the whole time, long there when I entered the scene.
And.. drama happened. Lots of drama happened. I got caught in the middle of some of it. Some of it happened without me.. IS happening without me.
I could detail the drama, but.. really, the specifics don't matter. And, also, I'm posting this publicly, so best to be wary.
The point, however, was that a bully was on the website and me and the bully... didn't get along so well.

It's not fair to say that my leaving C-C was ONLY about the bully. I was using the site less. Alot less.
I'd stopped answered most questions because most questions would annoy me. It'd be the same question for the billionth time, or someone who's obviously trying to do something unhealthy like try to be 90 lbs. And there weren't many questions I deigned to answer. So.. mostly I chatted.
And also I used c-c as a personal journal, in a way I wasn't using livejournal. I'd tend to get more comments and I felt safer talking about family garbage there. And ecwoodburn wasn't.. happy about that. I know she wanted me to post on LJ more, felt my journal had gotten too quiet.

So... anyways.
Thanksgiving comes and thanksgiving goes and I'm already quite uptight about.. stuff (public post. Leaving it there.)
And then I hop on C-C and I see... more drama. Downright nasty drama.
And I see the site maintainer saying that they were really trying to push out code and didn't have the time to play policeman on the journals and...

And... I left. Well, first I went back and made all of my entries private (which was a real pain, let me tell you!)
You can say I overreacted. Maybe I did. Maybe it was the rash actions of someone who was already upset about a weekend, but..
.. well, now it's a couple of days later, and despite the fact that my friends want me to come back and despite the fact that the site maintainers have implemented a new stronger block code which doesn't stop the bully from existing, but does make it so I no longer need to interact with that bully, not on the boards, not in other's journals, not in my own journal.
(Which, my mind suggests, means nothing as a truly dedicated troll just gets some new acounts, the way another troll on the site has.)
And... I'm not sure I really WANT to go back. I miss my friends, and I sort of miss the active community, though, really, I wasn't doing very much with it.
Mostly, I think, I miss the people who were special to me.
And.. I've directed them here, to my livejournal. Some of them have gotten livejournals. Some think I'll be drawn back to c-c like a moth to a flame.

I'm not sure there's a point here. Mostly, I'm just talking.

Maybe the point is... I know my friends want me to come back. I'm not sure I want to. That's why.
I want you all to be a part of my life, to not vanish, but I'm not sure I really want to go back there.
Besides, if we get enough of you here, we can do some neat things. Create an online group where we can all chat and cheer each other on? That's easy. Post in each other's journals. Yep, that too. Not so much with the forums, but... hey, that's OK by me. I wasn't using them anyways.
*shrugs again*

That's about all I gotta say.

...

*posts*

Comments

[dawnstar.livejournal.com]

You and your friends are welcome to join bulgebattle. It isn't getting a lot of use these days, but you'd be more than welcome to use it for anything you'd like.

It's me, Kristine :)

[(Anonymous)]

I will keep tabs on you here. :) And through e-mail. Gotta jet off to bed. Late, late night for me. Blarg!

I'll still see you : )

[(Anonymous)]

I was surprised to see you go. Bully doesnt bother me because I dont respond. None of the above would have carried on for very long if one of the two had chosen to stop posting about it altogether.
I choose to stick to journals and for the most part it seems to be a smart idea. I wasnt around as long nor was I intricately involved so that makes a huge difference. But I like the features on the site which is calorie counting. The whole reason I joined. Hopefully you will blog a little in myspace so those of us will be updated on whats current in your life. You will do what is the healthiest emotionally for you and that is a smart move. See you around!!!! Keri

[(Anonymous)]

Hiya HK. It's me Rahana. I think I'm gonna sign up for this live journal thing. seems pretty interesting. I am glad that at least we have another way to interact because it sucks not having you around.
Whatever happens happens. we just have to let it go and not worry about it.
I'm still here hanging around you. :P

[salome190.livejournal.com]

I have really mixed emotions about the bully. I don't like that she has twisted that facts and is now warning the newbies about the "gang mentality and that is what sparked my journal entry yesterday. I wanted a different side to be told. Maybe it will spark more drama but I hope not. I don't want to bite my tongue anymore. I don't want to be a bully but I will no longer be a passive sheep either.

I am going to lose friends because of it and hopefully I will gain some friends because I am strong either way - I need to do what I need to do for me. That is the bottom line.

I do need to learn how to be "tactful" and "sweet" about my statements.

Lite. I have your catipult and wand in my shed. Do you want it here? or should I store it for a while longer? So far my dog is in a poka dot bikini and Watergirl has locked herself up in the shed with the stuff and dog waiting for you to come back to cc. *giggle*.

Have a wonderful day. :)

[watergrrrl.livejournal.com]

well, i think there gets to a point in every c-cers life after jumping in and immersing in the forum pools for a while, they come up for air and go...uh. wtf? in that its not so much c-c that has changed s it is the c-cers perspective of the site. thats the point where the infatuation ends and the harder work of the relationship begins, analogously speaking...and then the repetitive posts begin to wear on you (like the dirty dishes in the sink) and people really get comfortable in speaking their mind and feeling free to say anything... and ok, i think a point was in there somewhere.

it is VERY difficult not to respond. i think my thyroid meds (emotion blunters)are all that have kept me from going ballistic. the dellusional factor is huge. gangs. rape. you are next. the continual posting of links to others sins. who died and made her f-n st peter?

dysfunction and drama, drama and dysfunction...oy vey! i got enough without all that. so yeah, i totally get your shunning of all the DnD that is truly not of your making. you are a passionate man: you get torqued, you blow, you apologize, you move on. er, we are but mere mortals... but forgetting is the biggest part of forgiving and that goes along way towards explaining the problem as i see it. the grudge. see wont let go. ever. thats quite obvious.

er...splork!

so its gonna take me a while to figure out how to work this joint but in the mean i'll just come here and see what i see...

ahhhh

[kathygator.livejournal.com]

I feel better, now that I have experienced by favorite splorker...Yee Haw, Hk..Yee Haw!!

I am so glad to be included, losing a friend like you would have been a very hard thing.

[salome190.livejournal.com]

Well Jayd is trying to be friends with IX. They have their own level on her friends that is just for the two of them. *feels sick*

PS Been there and tried that!

Don't make me come over there with a ninja hug!

[(Anonymous)]

LOL! Hey hk! I meant to come here and leave you a note soomer, but our power kept going out today... boy, is that annoying!
I will somehow make a live journal... not today, but perhaps soon.
Have already missed your presence at cc badly. It really just isn't the same without you. It's just not nearly silly enough, though we're trying to hold our own...
Hope you have a lovely weekend! later,
Nomo

Yep, its me again.

[pamperedkeri.livejournal.com]

Well I had to come back and read all the posts....I think most of us already have a livejournal but there comes a point for me.....journal in CC, blog on Myspace, then journal in livejournal? aaaaggghhhh...I just dont have enough time or thoughts for all that. I have updated my livejournal in a long time. Perhaps I should.

*takes down notes like shes watching blues clues when shes hears about chain saws and bazookas*