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When Worlds Collide
This is going to be a usual splork, so... I shall be verbose (as usual!)
I guess let's start with livejournal, ever so quickly, before I move on.
I started livejournalling in 2001. At the time, I was still in college, as were most of my friends. I had all the time in the world to hang out online, as did my friends, and we used it.
But times change and people grow up, get jobs, and get busy. So it is. I don't feel bad about it, it just simply is. And maybe people didn't have as much to say anymore. It's funny how one day seems to run into another when your life becomes... regimented. Wake up, eat, go to work, go home, cook/eat, do chores, go to sleep.
Not to suggest everyone's life is like that. I'm really describing my own.
Enter Calorie-Count.
I came in looking for a place to help me find the support I need to stick with the weight loss.
And I found it, and more.. I found a whole different community. One that was active and fun and interesting. I met people who could make my work days pass by quicker and would amuse me, and I did cherish it.
And I made friends with people. I met some of them in person and strived to meet others in person. I'd still like to meet more of them in person.
I gave back to the community, in a very useful and helpful way that earned me great admiration in some and great enmity in others.
But... along came a bully. Well, really, the bully was there the whole time, long there when I entered the scene.
And.. drama happened. Lots of drama happened. I got caught in the middle of some of it. Some of it happened without me.. IS happening without me.
I could detail the drama, but.. really, the specifics don't matter. And, also, I'm posting this publicly, so best to be wary.
The point, however, was that a bully was on the website and me and the bully... didn't get along so well.
It's not fair to say that my leaving C-C was ONLY about the bully. I was using the site less. Alot less.
I'd stopped answered most questions because most questions would annoy me. It'd be the same question for the billionth time, or someone who's obviously trying to do something unhealthy like try to be 90 lbs. And there weren't many questions I deigned to answer. So.. mostly I chatted.
And also I used c-c as a personal journal, in a way I wasn't using livejournal. I'd tend to get more comments and I felt safer talking about family garbage there. And![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
ecwoodburn wasn't.. happy about that. I know she wanted me to post on LJ more, felt my journal had gotten too quiet.
So... anyways.
Thanksgiving comes and thanksgiving goes and I'm already quite uptight about.. stuff (public post. Leaving it there.)
And then I hop on C-C and I see... more drama. Downright nasty drama.
And I see the site maintainer saying that they were really trying to push out code and didn't have the time to play policeman on the journals and...
And... I left. Well, first I went back and made all of my entries private (which was a real pain, let me tell you!)
You can say I overreacted. Maybe I did. Maybe it was the rash actions of someone who was already upset about a weekend, but..
.. well, now it's a couple of days later, and despite the fact that my friends want me to come back and despite the fact that the site maintainers have implemented a new stronger block code which doesn't stop the bully from existing, but does make it so I no longer need to interact with that bully, not on the boards, not in other's journals, not in my own journal.
(Which, my mind suggests, means nothing as a truly dedicated troll just gets some new acounts, the way another troll on the site has.)
And... I'm not sure I really WANT to go back. I miss my friends, and I sort of miss the active community, though, really, I wasn't doing very much with it.
Mostly, I think, I miss the people who were special to me.
And.. I've directed them here, to my livejournal. Some of them have gotten livejournals. Some think I'll be drawn back to c-c like a moth to a flame.
I'm not sure there's a point here. Mostly, I'm just talking.
Maybe the point is... I know my friends want me to come back. I'm not sure I want to. That's why.
I want you all to be a part of my life, to not vanish, but I'm not sure I really want to go back there.
Besides, if we get enough of you here, we can do some neat things. Create an online group where we can all chat and cheer each other on? That's easy. Post in each other's journals. Yep, that too. Not so much with the forums, but... hey, that's OK by me. I wasn't using them anyways.
*shrugs again*
That's about all I gotta say.
...
*posts*
I guess let's start with livejournal, ever so quickly, before I move on.
I started livejournalling in 2001. At the time, I was still in college, as were most of my friends. I had all the time in the world to hang out online, as did my friends, and we used it.
But times change and people grow up, get jobs, and get busy. So it is. I don't feel bad about it, it just simply is. And maybe people didn't have as much to say anymore. It's funny how one day seems to run into another when your life becomes... regimented. Wake up, eat, go to work, go home, cook/eat, do chores, go to sleep.
Not to suggest everyone's life is like that. I'm really describing my own.
Enter Calorie-Count.
I came in looking for a place to help me find the support I need to stick with the weight loss.
And I found it, and more.. I found a whole different community. One that was active and fun and interesting. I met people who could make my work days pass by quicker and would amuse me, and I did cherish it.
And I made friends with people. I met some of them in person and strived to meet others in person. I'd still like to meet more of them in person.
I gave back to the community, in a very useful and helpful way that earned me great admiration in some and great enmity in others.
But... along came a bully. Well, really, the bully was there the whole time, long there when I entered the scene.
And.. drama happened. Lots of drama happened. I got caught in the middle of some of it. Some of it happened without me.. IS happening without me.
I could detail the drama, but.. really, the specifics don't matter. And, also, I'm posting this publicly, so best to be wary.
The point, however, was that a bully was on the website and me and the bully... didn't get along so well.
It's not fair to say that my leaving C-C was ONLY about the bully. I was using the site less. Alot less.
I'd stopped answered most questions because most questions would annoy me. It'd be the same question for the billionth time, or someone who's obviously trying to do something unhealthy like try to be 90 lbs. And there weren't many questions I deigned to answer. So.. mostly I chatted.
And also I used c-c as a personal journal, in a way I wasn't using livejournal. I'd tend to get more comments and I felt safer talking about family garbage there. And
ecwoodburn wasn't.. happy about that. I know she wanted me to post on LJ more, felt my journal had gotten too quiet.So... anyways.
Thanksgiving comes and thanksgiving goes and I'm already quite uptight about.. stuff (public post. Leaving it there.)
And then I hop on C-C and I see... more drama. Downright nasty drama.
And I see the site maintainer saying that they were really trying to push out code and didn't have the time to play policeman on the journals and...
And... I left. Well, first I went back and made all of my entries private (which was a real pain, let me tell you!)
You can say I overreacted. Maybe I did. Maybe it was the rash actions of someone who was already upset about a weekend, but..
.. well, now it's a couple of days later, and despite the fact that my friends want me to come back and despite the fact that the site maintainers have implemented a new stronger block code which doesn't stop the bully from existing, but does make it so I no longer need to interact with that bully, not on the boards, not in other's journals, not in my own journal.
(Which, my mind suggests, means nothing as a truly dedicated troll just gets some new acounts, the way another troll on the site has.)
And... I'm not sure I really WANT to go back. I miss my friends, and I sort of miss the active community, though, really, I wasn't doing very much with it.
Mostly, I think, I miss the people who were special to me.
And.. I've directed them here, to my livejournal. Some of them have gotten livejournals. Some think I'll be drawn back to c-c like a moth to a flame.
I'm not sure there's a point here. Mostly, I'm just talking.
Maybe the point is... I know my friends want me to come back. I'm not sure I want to. That's why.
I want you all to be a part of my life, to not vanish, but I'm not sure I really want to go back there.
Besides, if we get enough of you here, we can do some neat things. Create an online group where we can all chat and cheer each other on? That's easy. Post in each other's journals. Yep, that too. Not so much with the forums, but... hey, that's OK by me. I wasn't using them anyways.
*shrugs again*
That's about all I gotta say.
...
*posts*
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We may, as a group, decide to have a group that isn't open to the public. So it's not entirely up to me.
But.. thanks for the offer! :)
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Well.. thanks for the offer! Guess we'll let you know! :)
It's me, Kristine :)
(Anonymous) 2006-12-01 03:17 am (UTC)(link)Re: It's me, Kristine :)
So.. what's going on with DC get-together? Nomo and Athena haven't stopped by. Anyone getting interested in that? :)
I'll still see you : )
(Anonymous) 2006-12-01 03:22 am (UTC)(link)I choose to stick to journals and for the most part it seems to be a smart idea. I wasnt around as long nor was I intricately involved so that makes a huge difference. But I like the features on the site which is calorie counting. The whole reason I joined. Hopefully you will blog a little in myspace so those of us will be updated on whats current in your life. You will do what is the healthiest emotionally for you and that is a smart move. See you around!!!! Keri
Re: I'll still see you : )
But... I won't entirely disappear. Promise. :)
As far as.. it takes two to Tango.
I agree.. it takes two to cause an incident, but.. I think it only takes one to bully/harass.
I think... the trick is to understand the line between.. harassment/bullying and an incident. Harassment starts, for me, when one person gets online and says something nasty and personal about someone. An incident is when someone responds.
Get two people.. or more.. and things get nasty. Allow the Bully to bully without any response.. and the bully just looks like an idiot.
But... i think the thing with NOT responding is it's hard and it's hard because at least until the new Block feature came about, it was.. active. You had to actively bite your tongue and NOT say anything and also you had to hope that people who care about you, or people sick of the Bully, don't say anything as well.
And.. experience tells me.. it almost never goes that way, because some of us just don't react well to being bullied, and to having our friends be bullied.
That's why I'm here and not there. I'm sick of having to actively ignore a Bully. I'm sick of biting my tongue and holding my breath.
The Bullies aren't here. At least not on my personal journal. And... it's a whole lot easier to defend myself here, because LJ has lived through enough flame wars, it knows how to stop these things. In fact, I've already stopped a Bully from posting here before she even knew about this place. I've banned her personal journal, know how to ban other journals, if necessary, and made it so all anonymous comments are screened (that is, *I* choose if they post or not.)
:D
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(Anonymous) 2006-12-01 01:28 pm (UTC)(link)Whatever happens happens. we just have to let it go and not worry about it.
I'm still here hanging around you. :P
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Yay, Abby's getting an LJ :D
*wonders if Marie's still got that picture of the catapult she made me. It'd be easy to make into an LJ icon! :D and it's sooooo me :D*
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I am going to lose friends because of it and hopefully I will gain some friends because I am strong either way - I need to do what I need to do for me. That is the bottom line.
I do need to learn how to be "tactful" and "sweet" about my statements.
Lite. I have your catipult and wand in my shed. Do you want it here? or should I store it for a while longer? So far my dog is in a poka dot bikini and Watergirl has locked herself up in the shed with the stuff and dog waiting for you to come back to cc. *giggle*.
Have a wonderful day. :)
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And... that sounds alot like a certain journal entry I posted on August 1st that caused alot of drama, but I needed to post, because I did need to let someone else there know "my side" of events.
And.. I remember finding that.. I don't think it changed anyone mind, or really clued them into stuff that was going on that they didn't know about. The people who already agreed with me, still agreed. Those who didn't.. either understood, got really upset (and remember for a couple of days alot of good people got really upset.) or... argued.
*shrug*
You won't lose me over it, but I haven't seen it, and I (almost certainly) agree with what you said.
And I have thoughts about the "gang mentality" too. Mostly that, in some ways, if there ever was a gang, she drove us together with her actions. I know, in some ways, some of us got to know each other because of a mutual dislike of someone who had attacked us first. Not all, but some.
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it is VERY difficult not to respond. i think my thyroid meds (emotion blunters)are all that have kept me from going ballistic. the dellusional factor is huge. gangs. rape. you are next. the continual posting of links to others sins. who died and made her f-n st peter?
dysfunction and drama, drama and dysfunction...oy vey! i got enough without all that. so yeah, i totally get your shunning of all the DnD that is truly not of your making. you are a passionate man: you get torqued, you blow, you apologize, you move on. er, we are but mere mortals... but forgetting is the biggest part of forgiving and that goes along way towards explaining the problem as i see it. the grudge. see wont let go. ever. thats quite obvious.
er...splork!
so its gonna take me a while to figure out how to work this joint but in the mean i'll just come here and see what i see...
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Is it that C-C hasn't changed? Well, obviously it has. People have come on board. People have left. New tools. Not to mention the deal with about.com and everything that brings with it.
The site *HAS* changed.
But also, and perhaps more importantly, my relationship with the site changed. I first came in looking for a clue and support. I found both and more. My relationship with the site has changed from when I first logged in in April and started taking over any thread I liked by playing with saroful.
Dysfunction and Drama. Hell, I get enough of that in my personal life. You (as someone I've friended) can actually go back and see the rest of my livejournal now. Want to talk Drama and Dysfunction, just check out my family (http://lite.livejournal.com/tag/family). Plenty enough Drama and Dysfunction there, especially lately with OMG Wedding Plans going on. I don't need to deal with someone else's Dysfunctions.
And, if you need help with this joint, I can help. I know a few tricks :)
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hmm...janelle and ix are kissing and making up. somehow, i cant get all happy dappy bout that. im kinda scared for janelle...they have friended. hmmm... ima gonna keep my peace on that one. scary.
wow, you do journal much here... probably a good thing my work pc is not acting too compatable with this site. i really am going to have to invoke some self-discipline re cc at work. its bad. and thats just not me.
but a friend who also lost his teenage son said my lack of focus is not unusual, and it took him about a year to move past that particular er...phenomena. so theres that.
i got to get lots done today. me and kelli and berney are working the tree farm this weekend.
observation: this place is very...GUI. i look forward to having time to play with all the customizations. fun fun fun
ttfn!
no subject
If you start caring about people, people you don't know who call for help, whether they really want what you have to offer or not, than.. you get burned. Repeatedly. Because not everyone will agree with you, believe what you say, want what you offer, and there isn't a damn thing you can do to change their mind.
Jaded Cynicism is EASY.
Getting past it and being a better person is not.
Good luck to Janelle. I hope that she can find that befriending Ix makes things better.
I know that, before the July kerfuffle, I thought Ix and I were friends. We watched each other's journals and responded, but then she started going after people on the boards and I didn't really like or approve of it, and then she went after Slappy, Obs and I. And then I definitely disliked her.
*hugs about kyle*
Enjoy the Tree farm! Have fun!
And, yes, Livejournal IS very GUI...
ahhhh
I am so glad to be included, losing a friend like you would have been a very hard thing.
Re: ahhhh
But welcome to Livejournal :)
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PS Been there and tried that!
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Don't make me come over there with a ninja hug!
(Anonymous) 2006-12-01 08:46 pm (UTC)(link)I will somehow make a live journal... not today, but perhaps soon.
Have already missed your presence at cc badly. It really just isn't the same without you. It's just not nearly silly enough, though we're trying to hold our own...
Hope you have a lovely weekend! later,
Nomo
Re: Don't make me come over there with a ninja hug!
*quietly pushes the chainsaw he bought for such an occasion back into the catapult shed with his back foot*
Heh. You don't need to make a livejournal. :) It's up to you. :)
Sorry that CC isn't the same without me. *shrug* As I said, I'm not sure it's right for me to go back, really.
Have a good weekend, Erica!
Yep, its me again.
*takes down notes like shes watching blues clues when shes hears about chain saws and bazookas*