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When Worlds Collide
This is going to be a usual splork, so... I shall be verbose (as usual!)
I guess let's start with livejournal, ever so quickly, before I move on.
I started livejournalling in 2001. At the time, I was still in college, as were most of my friends. I had all the time in the world to hang out online, as did my friends, and we used it.
But times change and people grow up, get jobs, and get busy. So it is. I don't feel bad about it, it just simply is. And maybe people didn't have as much to say anymore. It's funny how one day seems to run into another when your life becomes... regimented. Wake up, eat, go to work, go home, cook/eat, do chores, go to sleep.
Not to suggest everyone's life is like that. I'm really describing my own.
Enter Calorie-Count.
I came in looking for a place to help me find the support I need to stick with the weight loss.
And I found it, and more.. I found a whole different community. One that was active and fun and interesting. I met people who could make my work days pass by quicker and would amuse me, and I did cherish it.
And I made friends with people. I met some of them in person and strived to meet others in person. I'd still like to meet more of them in person.
I gave back to the community, in a very useful and helpful way that earned me great admiration in some and great enmity in others.
But... along came a bully. Well, really, the bully was there the whole time, long there when I entered the scene.
And.. drama happened. Lots of drama happened. I got caught in the middle of some of it. Some of it happened without me.. IS happening without me.
I could detail the drama, but.. really, the specifics don't matter. And, also, I'm posting this publicly, so best to be wary.
The point, however, was that a bully was on the website and me and the bully... didn't get along so well.
It's not fair to say that my leaving C-C was ONLY about the bully. I was using the site less. Alot less.
I'd stopped answered most questions because most questions would annoy me. It'd be the same question for the billionth time, or someone who's obviously trying to do something unhealthy like try to be 90 lbs. And there weren't many questions I deigned to answer. So.. mostly I chatted.
And also I used c-c as a personal journal, in a way I wasn't using livejournal. I'd tend to get more comments and I felt safer talking about family garbage there. And![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
ecwoodburn wasn't.. happy about that. I know she wanted me to post on LJ more, felt my journal had gotten too quiet.
So... anyways.
Thanksgiving comes and thanksgiving goes and I'm already quite uptight about.. stuff (public post. Leaving it there.)
And then I hop on C-C and I see... more drama. Downright nasty drama.
And I see the site maintainer saying that they were really trying to push out code and didn't have the time to play policeman on the journals and...
And... I left. Well, first I went back and made all of my entries private (which was a real pain, let me tell you!)
You can say I overreacted. Maybe I did. Maybe it was the rash actions of someone who was already upset about a weekend, but..
.. well, now it's a couple of days later, and despite the fact that my friends want me to come back and despite the fact that the site maintainers have implemented a new stronger block code which doesn't stop the bully from existing, but does make it so I no longer need to interact with that bully, not on the boards, not in other's journals, not in my own journal.
(Which, my mind suggests, means nothing as a truly dedicated troll just gets some new acounts, the way another troll on the site has.)
And... I'm not sure I really WANT to go back. I miss my friends, and I sort of miss the active community, though, really, I wasn't doing very much with it.
Mostly, I think, I miss the people who were special to me.
And.. I've directed them here, to my livejournal. Some of them have gotten livejournals. Some think I'll be drawn back to c-c like a moth to a flame.
I'm not sure there's a point here. Mostly, I'm just talking.
Maybe the point is... I know my friends want me to come back. I'm not sure I want to. That's why.
I want you all to be a part of my life, to not vanish, but I'm not sure I really want to go back there.
Besides, if we get enough of you here, we can do some neat things. Create an online group where we can all chat and cheer each other on? That's easy. Post in each other's journals. Yep, that too. Not so much with the forums, but... hey, that's OK by me. I wasn't using them anyways.
*shrugs again*
That's about all I gotta say.
...
*posts*
I guess let's start with livejournal, ever so quickly, before I move on.
I started livejournalling in 2001. At the time, I was still in college, as were most of my friends. I had all the time in the world to hang out online, as did my friends, and we used it.
But times change and people grow up, get jobs, and get busy. So it is. I don't feel bad about it, it just simply is. And maybe people didn't have as much to say anymore. It's funny how one day seems to run into another when your life becomes... regimented. Wake up, eat, go to work, go home, cook/eat, do chores, go to sleep.
Not to suggest everyone's life is like that. I'm really describing my own.
Enter Calorie-Count.
I came in looking for a place to help me find the support I need to stick with the weight loss.
And I found it, and more.. I found a whole different community. One that was active and fun and interesting. I met people who could make my work days pass by quicker and would amuse me, and I did cherish it.
And I made friends with people. I met some of them in person and strived to meet others in person. I'd still like to meet more of them in person.
I gave back to the community, in a very useful and helpful way that earned me great admiration in some and great enmity in others.
But... along came a bully. Well, really, the bully was there the whole time, long there when I entered the scene.
And.. drama happened. Lots of drama happened. I got caught in the middle of some of it. Some of it happened without me.. IS happening without me.
I could detail the drama, but.. really, the specifics don't matter. And, also, I'm posting this publicly, so best to be wary.
The point, however, was that a bully was on the website and me and the bully... didn't get along so well.
It's not fair to say that my leaving C-C was ONLY about the bully. I was using the site less. Alot less.
I'd stopped answered most questions because most questions would annoy me. It'd be the same question for the billionth time, or someone who's obviously trying to do something unhealthy like try to be 90 lbs. And there weren't many questions I deigned to answer. So.. mostly I chatted.
And also I used c-c as a personal journal, in a way I wasn't using livejournal. I'd tend to get more comments and I felt safer talking about family garbage there. And
ecwoodburn wasn't.. happy about that. I know she wanted me to post on LJ more, felt my journal had gotten too quiet.So... anyways.
Thanksgiving comes and thanksgiving goes and I'm already quite uptight about.. stuff (public post. Leaving it there.)
And then I hop on C-C and I see... more drama. Downright nasty drama.
And I see the site maintainer saying that they were really trying to push out code and didn't have the time to play policeman on the journals and...
And... I left. Well, first I went back and made all of my entries private (which was a real pain, let me tell you!)
You can say I overreacted. Maybe I did. Maybe it was the rash actions of someone who was already upset about a weekend, but..
.. well, now it's a couple of days later, and despite the fact that my friends want me to come back and despite the fact that the site maintainers have implemented a new stronger block code which doesn't stop the bully from existing, but does make it so I no longer need to interact with that bully, not on the boards, not in other's journals, not in my own journal.
(Which, my mind suggests, means nothing as a truly dedicated troll just gets some new acounts, the way another troll on the site has.)
And... I'm not sure I really WANT to go back. I miss my friends, and I sort of miss the active community, though, really, I wasn't doing very much with it.
Mostly, I think, I miss the people who were special to me.
And.. I've directed them here, to my livejournal. Some of them have gotten livejournals. Some think I'll be drawn back to c-c like a moth to a flame.
I'm not sure there's a point here. Mostly, I'm just talking.
Maybe the point is... I know my friends want me to come back. I'm not sure I want to. That's why.
I want you all to be a part of my life, to not vanish, but I'm not sure I really want to go back there.
Besides, if we get enough of you here, we can do some neat things. Create an online group where we can all chat and cheer each other on? That's easy. Post in each other's journals. Yep, that too. Not so much with the forums, but... hey, that's OK by me. I wasn't using them anyways.
*shrugs again*
That's about all I gotta say.
...
*posts*
I'll still see you : )
(Anonymous) 2006-12-01 03:22 am (UTC)(link)I choose to stick to journals and for the most part it seems to be a smart idea. I wasnt around as long nor was I intricately involved so that makes a huge difference. But I like the features on the site which is calorie counting. The whole reason I joined. Hopefully you will blog a little in myspace so those of us will be updated on whats current in your life. You will do what is the healthiest emotionally for you and that is a smart move. See you around!!!! Keri
Re: I'll still see you : )
But... I won't entirely disappear. Promise. :)
As far as.. it takes two to Tango.
I agree.. it takes two to cause an incident, but.. I think it only takes one to bully/harass.
I think... the trick is to understand the line between.. harassment/bullying and an incident. Harassment starts, for me, when one person gets online and says something nasty and personal about someone. An incident is when someone responds.
Get two people.. or more.. and things get nasty. Allow the Bully to bully without any response.. and the bully just looks like an idiot.
But... i think the thing with NOT responding is it's hard and it's hard because at least until the new Block feature came about, it was.. active. You had to actively bite your tongue and NOT say anything and also you had to hope that people who care about you, or people sick of the Bully, don't say anything as well.
And.. experience tells me.. it almost never goes that way, because some of us just don't react well to being bullied, and to having our friends be bullied.
That's why I'm here and not there. I'm sick of having to actively ignore a Bully. I'm sick of biting my tongue and holding my breath.
The Bullies aren't here. At least not on my personal journal. And... it's a whole lot easier to defend myself here, because LJ has lived through enough flame wars, it knows how to stop these things. In fact, I've already stopped a Bully from posting here before she even knew about this place. I've banned her personal journal, know how to ban other journals, if necessary, and made it so all anonymous comments are screened (that is, *I* choose if they post or not.)
:D