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The Great Weight Loss Experiment

So... I'm going to admit the bloody obvious.
For whatever reason (I can think of a few), I'm having a really hard
staying 'on the wagon' with the weight loss.

The reasons I'm having so much difficult are many and varied, but what
I'm getting is.. what worked previously may not necessarily work now,
not immediately, at least. Maybe I got lucky the last time. Maybe I
was in just such a point in my life things sort of fell together for
me, but I'm not at that point now. Now, I'm going to have to work a
little harder to get what I want, or fall prey to my own weaker
instincts again.

So.. cards on the table, I don't know what it'll take to really get
this to work and keep it working. Truth be told, I've tried a bunch of
different approaches and this may not be the last approach I try.

It's all some.. great experiment.

I think, THIS TIME, I'm trying to ease into it... to try to make it
not be a big deal, because if I make it a big deal, I inevitably get
all pissed at myself when I fail to be able to life up to my rather
lofty self-expectations. (Yes, I'm a perfectionist and at this stage
in my life, it's REALLY hard to disentangle myself from it all.)

My plan, for now.. a couple of small changes. Relatively. Try to get
into the gym more often, three or four times a week, and try to avoid
cheating (a more vague meaning, but I know what I want to do here.)

I'd love to say I know this is going to work. I don't. There are times
I feel like I'm fighting an uphill battle and am just too exhausted to
bother. But... I'm going to try anyways. Because despite the shift in
my ability to cope with my life, it's still important to me to try to
lose the weight.

AIG

To be honest, the whole thing has a feeling of... it couldn't possibly be real.

There really isn't much about this financial mess that isn't, in a
way, laughable. I mean, except for all the people who've lost their
houses, their jobs, their lives.. those people aren't real, of course.
They're just numbers, statistics.

I wonder what would happen if one of those people finally became REAL
to Congress, or our Fearless Leader. Would anything change?
.. probably not, no.

I honestly don't understand the attitude Wall Street has, that we're
the thieves who got you into this mess, but you need us to get you
out. Some people are buying it. I never understood it, myself. It
makes no sense. If a doctor were to try to heal a patient and instead,
did massive damage to that patient.. if an engineer were to build a
bridge and it collapsed.. they certainly as fuck wouldn't keep the
same nitwits doing the same job.
So why the assumption that these "financial geniuses" are still
necessary? Or even relevant?

The numbers here are staggering. Not just the amount of money AIG
stole, but how much money we're pumping into the economy, how much
BORROWED money.. that seems to be going absofuckinglutely nowhere.

People keep saying AIG is too big to fall. I keep wondering if AIG
isn't too big to succeed. Clearly, what AIG *IS*.. is everything
that's wrong with the American Market today.

I've never understood how AIG is too big to fall. I mean.. I
understand it with Ford and with GM. If they fail, they don't just
affect their employees, but everyone else up and down the supply
chain. Ford and GM offered a PRODUCT. What does AIG offer?

As I understand it, the idea is no one wants AIG to fail because we're
unsure of how it will affect the banks, and the Stock Market. Well,
firstly the Stock Market is going to do what the Stock Market is going
to do. And secondly.... let's just buy off these bad assets and get it
over with, huh? Instead of plunking another million or billion dollars
into hands that are going to misuse it.

This is where My President is failing me. I'm sorry, Mr. President,
but you're really sucking right now.
You dropped the ball here, Mr. President. You knew about these AIG
bonuses. So did Congress. And you did nothing until AIG let the world
know what it was doing with the bailout money and then it came out and
then, only then, were you "filled with righteous indignation."
Whatever. Whatever because you knew and this whole "We'll stop those
bonuses!".. you could have done that earlier. Now, you look like you
got caught.
Do you know what I want to hear from you, Mr. President? I want to
hear that you and your administration GET it. That we aren't just
numbers and statistics, that you actually understand what we're going
through here, and I want to hear that you have plans on fixing it and
I want to actually hear details of those plans, instead of vague and
so-far-empty promises.
Anything less.. is too little and too late.