*rushes over to lite and grabs him, pulling him close in a hug* Oh, dearheart, I lost a kitten the same way (my bf at the time was the one that stepped on my baby), and I'll never forget that awful night, we couldn't make it to emergency and I had to help Ashes to the summerlands myself. It still haunts me, I'm sure it always will, in a way, but I've had the time to reflect on all we did for him when he was still around, and in just recently losing another baby pet, have come to my own terms with life and loss. I'll spare you the details, but a few months ago one of my baby rats had a sudden resperitory attack and died in the car as she was being rushed down to my vet clinic by my fiancee, he had to witness her suffering and I was the one who pronounced her dead, he and I had to spend a while in a room alone with her, and even though we didn't have her for very long, she still found a small place in my heart, and so we mourned her just the same, I even made http://www.dragonneo.com/greinne/TN/byechi.jpg for her, just to always remember. When I lost Ashes (my kitten who died like yours), I didn't know what to do. My other kitty Spirit who had just finally accepted him wandered around looking for him, she didn't know what to do either, we could only sit together and miss our baby. Unfortunately, my boyfriend at the time was less than compassionate and blamed the kitten for his own demise, not the fact that he had been irresponsible and left the door open so said kitten could wander the house, you remember Vessper, and you remember how awful he was. But in time, as it always does, life went on. We ended up going to the animal shelter and rescuing an older kitty who had 13 front toes and probably wouldn't have been adopted, and so Eclipse came home to Spirit, and the two became fast friends. Ashes' short life on earth and sudden demise was a tragedy, yes, but he allowed the room and the circumstances for Eclipse to be saved, and in doing such, he enriched our lives even through death. And a lesson was learned too, of course the obvious "watch your feet", but moreso, a deeper lesson, one I believe Ashes was brought to me to do - that all life, no matter how short, or fuzzy, or cute, or seemingly small, can touch all of the life around it in the most beautiful way. Chi-Chian, my baby rat, did the same. She and Solistice were little pals, and when we lost Chi, Sol just wandered around her cage all lonely. We've since integrated our little Sol in with our big girls, and she and Pixie are two round peas in a pod, and I don't know if that bond would have been made, had tinyChi been around still.
I deal with dying pets every day at work, at first it was hard, and yes, you do kind of get calloused to having to restrain pets for euthanasia, and it doesn't bother me any more to "tag n' bag", but the one thing I'll never get used to is the owners crying. Their pain, and more importantly, your pain, is my pain. My heart aches for what you're feeling now, even though we don't know each other as individuals, I can at least know you as another life.
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Date: 2001-11-13 11:10 pm (UTC)It still haunts me, I'm sure it always will, in a way, but I've had the time to reflect on all we did for him when he was still around, and in just recently losing another baby pet, have come to my own terms with life and loss.
I'll spare you the details, but a few months ago one of my baby rats had a sudden resperitory attack and died in the car as she was being rushed down to my vet clinic by my fiancee, he had to witness her suffering and I was the one who pronounced her dead, he and I had to spend a while in a room alone with her, and even though we didn't have her for very long, she still found a small place in my heart, and so we mourned her just the same, I even made http://www.dragonneo.com/greinne/TN/byechi.jpg for her, just to always remember.
When I lost Ashes (my kitten who died like yours), I didn't know what to do. My other kitty Spirit who had just finally accepted him wandered around looking for him, she didn't know what to do either, we could only sit together and miss our baby. Unfortunately, my boyfriend at the time was less than compassionate and blamed the kitten for his own demise, not the fact that he had been irresponsible and left the door open so said kitten could wander the house, you remember Vessper, and you remember how awful he was.
But in time, as it always does, life went on. We ended up going to the animal shelter and rescuing an older kitty who had 13 front toes and probably wouldn't have been adopted, and so Eclipse came home to Spirit, and the two became fast friends. Ashes' short life on earth and sudden demise was a tragedy, yes, but he allowed the room and the circumstances for Eclipse to be saved, and in doing such, he enriched our lives even through death.
And a lesson was learned too, of course the obvious "watch your feet", but moreso, a deeper lesson, one I believe Ashes was brought to me to do - that all life, no matter how short, or fuzzy, or cute, or seemingly small, can touch all of the life around it in the most beautiful way.
Chi-Chian, my baby rat, did the same. She and Solistice were little pals, and when we lost Chi, Sol just wandered around her cage all lonely. We've since integrated our little Sol in with our big girls, and she and Pixie are two round peas in a pod, and I don't know if that bond would have been made, had tinyChi been around still.
I deal with dying pets every day at work, at first it was hard, and yes, you do kind of get calloused to having to restrain pets for euthanasia, and it doesn't bother me any more to "tag n' bag", but the one thing I'll never get used to is the owners crying. Their pain, and more importantly, your pain, is my pain. My heart aches for what you're feeling now, even though we don't know each other as individuals, I can at least know you as another life.