At wit's end

I need help and I need help now.
I need to end this morning routine I'm stuck in.
Let me describe it and perhaps someone can give some ideas.

It starts either just before or just after 5 AM.
Either Mouse or Mystery comes into my room to wake me up.
If it's Mouse, he comes in with low whines, as if he's saying "I'm starving. I'm starving. Feed me."
If it's Mystery, she finds something to scratch. She's scratched posters off my walls, pins on the ground etc.
I'm sick to death of Mystery's destructiveness. It is NOT acceptable. I was squirting the shit out of her for a while, but mom got me to stop, saying I was HONESTLY traumatizing her.
So, anyways, I'm now up and dealing with one or another naughty cat.
Now if I get up and close my door, that's just as bad, because EVENTUALLY Bandit goes to the door and starts banging on it, so I still can't fucking sleep.

I've already moved their feeding time back to 5:30, which is nearly exactly 12 hours from when they get dinner.

But I am sick of the morning routine. It started before 5 today. I'm exhausted, I'm angry and I need to do something about this. Any ideas? Because I'm at wits end.

As a side note, this, among others, is the reason I'm honestly glad I'm taking Smokey and Cleo with me when I leave. I Love the others... but Smokey and Cleo I love 24 hours instead of hating at 4 AM because they won't LET ME SLEEP!!!

*blinks*

And does anyone else think there's something... not right about Sesame Street introducing an HIV-positive character?

What will they have next? A transgendered character? perhaps a corrupt big businessman character? Perhaps a boy-molesting priest character?

I dunno, I'd have to see this character for myself, really, but I don't think this is necessarily a good thing.

Heh. A useless quiz.

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