Love Means Never Having to Say ____

Let me start off by saying that K was telling me about LJ Idol and the topic
itself only caught my interest. I'm not in LJ Idol, will not be in LJ Idol,
etc.

But... I've had a bee in my bonnet about relationships for a little while.
It started with CC...

See... before CC, I'd have said that most of the people I knew and cared for
were in.. reasonably good relationships. There was give and take, as far as
I could see. There was clearly tenderness. There were no red lights or
OMGWTF moments. I know my own relationship with Kristen.. had it's bumpy
parts (as some of you no doubt recall), but straightened out into something
that's... just awesome.

Then I came onto CC and realize just how sheltered I was. I'm not saying,
btw, that being sheltered is a positive or negative thing. There are
advantages and disadvantages. I started hearing posts about people who were
in outright abusive relationship (one girl on CC whom I didn't know very
well but I liked when she was there was outright banned from going onto CC
by her husband NOT because she didn't need to lose weight or was doing any
wrong there, but he was just that controlling.) I read posts, LOTS of posts
by people whose problems differed vastly from my own. It's no secret that CC
has far more women than men, so I tended to hear their view of things...
stories of mental abuse, lack of respect and domination (in a non-kinky
non-good way).

It was like being asleep and being awaken by someone dumping a bucket of
cold water directly into my heart.

I'm no expert on what makes a relationship work. Love, respect,
communication, tenderness, a sense of humor.. all this and more.. or less. I
guess depend on the relationship.

I'm not even sure I can tell you why MY relationship with Kristen works. It
works because we make it work. What do I mean by that? It's not easy to say,
because sometimes we just do the right thing without even thinking about it.
But I think about this question.. what does Love.. my relationship with
Kristen.. mean never having to say...

I can't think of much. It definitely doesn't mean not saying "I'm sorry."
That's a one way ticket to the doghouse. It definitely doesn't mean taking
the other, in any way, for granted. I guess what I think is.. Love, in terms
of a working relationship, means you keep saying all the stuff you'd say to
someone else you care about. There's just undertones and overtones with your
love (or loves) you probably don't share with others.

... if that makes any sense to anyone else but me.