Wedding Stuff

[hkellick]

So occasionally I consider what it might be like to be in my very own wedding (as, like, the groom and stuff.)
Yes, yes, I know I've only been together with Kristen for about 11 months, but a boy can dream, right? :)

So this post is just random brain droppings about all-things wedding.. things I've thought about and am just spitting out as much to say publicly for anyone who wants to read as for myself.

But since it's long (of course!), I'll
I've only been at one wedding that I remember.. dawnstar and kolys and was amazed at how beautiful and touching in a (and this is important) not particularly religious way.
I've considered, in the past, if I had a wedding what would be the SUBSTANCE of it be and I have to admit, I tend, as someone who isn't all that religious, to lean towards some nondenominational ceremony. Something poignant, beautiful but without God this and God that and God smiles upon ye.

I do know that I tend to have a conservative approach to these things in terms of.. I doubt I'd want a "period" wedding or even a themed wedding and I believe in the power of tradition.. even if I'm picking and choosing which traditions I'd want to use.

For example, i've always been enamored with one aspect of the handfasting ceremony.. the actual binding of the bride's and groom's hands as a symbol of their life together from thus point. It's a symbol I just really like.
But I'm also enamored with the exchanging of the rings during the ceremony.

To be honest, I know ecwoodburn has done a great deal more research on actual ceremonies than I.

I've been bouncing back and forth on the idea.. if Kristen and I remain in the DC Metro (or even Baltimore Metro) area, would I want the wedding HERE.. or back home in Buffalo? On one hand, by the time said wedding occurs, I may have a whole built-up life here in DC with friends and coworkers and such. On the other.. Buffalo is and will remain home, plus the obvious benefits (for me. Maybe not so much for Kristen) of being where almost 100% of my family is (Well... Buffalo and Toronto, but still).. and also being very close to Kristen's "home" (I'll let her speak for herself here, but I'm pretty sure Kristen feels like Rochester is her home in a way Buffalo will never be again)

All in all, despite my joking otherwise, I know that I, personally AM very interested in some of the details of the wedding.. I may not care so much about the Brides Dress or the Bridesmaid Dresses (though, heaven help me Kristen if you get butt ugly Bridesmaid Dresses just so you can look better than they do, I'll have to whack you upside the head with a wiffle bat!)
In a random aside there.. I'll never understand why brides feel the need to do that. You're the BRIDE. Of COURSE most, if not all, eyes are turned towards you. Well, and your groom.
ANYWAYS... I don't care about all the details, but obviously, since I'm post about some of them, I do care about some.

I don't, personally, want a huge wedding. Not only is it expensive, but the larger the party, the more impersonal, to me, it seems. I'd want our families to be there and our friends. Don't care so much about coworkers unless they also fall under the friends category. And certainly not the friend of a friend of your uncle's sister's coworkers friends' boss.
But seriously, to me a wedding isn't about seeing how much stuff you can get by inviting everyone you know, but about inviting the people you love to witness the public event where you declare your bond with your significant other. It's as much a show for them as a meaningful memory for you. Just like graduation.
BUT.. on the other hand.. just because it's as much about them as it is about you, does not mean that certain people's families will be allowed to dominate the wedding plans. I'd like them involved, as much for the sanity of trusting someone else to take care of some of the details (admittedly, I'm thinking more in terms of my own mother, grandmother et. al. who can be as airheaded as I, at times, but who I truly trust to do the right thing by me), but the final decision is and should remain ours.
No matter how offended this may make your mom, Kristen.

And then, of course, after the actual ceremony comes the party.
Wow. The idea of trying to fit our loved ones (friends and family) in one hall is truly mind-staggering. A cool thought and I admit I long for the day when I can finally do this, but just scary. Not so much for the number of people involved as the potential for oddities, silliness and pure chaos.
Seriously, though...
Would definately want a nice party in someplace a little posh without being "I'm afraid to take my tux off lest I look like a dirty hippy" posh, with a DJ (even if we have to supply said DJ with half of our collection so he can play, you know, good music... TMBG, Carbon Leaf, Amanda Marshall, Me ;)).. though Kristen and I do like the idea of having some LIVE music for a while (consider yourself hired, Oli ;) ), no doubt Kristen wouldn't mind singing as well.

Though, to me, the GOOD question.. the truly GOOD question is.. if we start the dancing with "our song" (as is traditional), WHAT SONG DO WE PICK?!?!?!?!
The number of "us songs" we have would probably fit on a CD! We CAN'T pick just one. Being music geeks, we have too much of a variety of semi-approprate songs to pick from.
Do we go for TMBG's "Angel"? or Amanda Marshall's "Love Lift Me"?
Perhaps The Nada's "Carve Your Name" or Blue Rodeo's "Head Over Heels"?
Ooo! Ooo! I know. We can dance to Joe Rinoie's "SYNCHRONIZED LOVE (Red Monster Hyper Mix)" (from DDR)
... or not...

And I am BARRING ANY GLASSES FROM BEING PUT ON THE TABLES LEST I NOT BE ABLE TO EAT BECAUSE EVIL PEOPLE (people as evil as, say, myself) KEEP CLINKING THE GLASSES ;)
And I'm seperating you folk, because I know you conspire ;)
... OK. Not really. I'm just being silly now :)
Anyways, based on the last 11 months, I have no reason to believe we wouldn't want any chance to kiss each other anyways. We probably wouldn't be able to keep our hands off each other. We'll have wedding photos resembling Dawn and Oli's with Kristen's hands on my ass ;)
OK. I'm getting silly again. :)

I can't help it. The ideas springing forth from my demented mind just bring a happy smile to my face. I'd like to be able to, one day, make them come to pass.

Friday's our 11 month anniversary, you know. Wow.
In just over a month, we'll have been together for a year.
Wow.
Yay honest-to-god real, healthy, working relationship. :)
Yay having reason to believe that there's at least a modest to good chance that my random brain droppings above could very well come to pass.

Crap.. lunch is over. No more daydreaming, then.
Back to work I go.

Comments

[kolys.livejournal.com]

While I understand that this is just brain droppings at the moment, there are a couple of lines in there that I'd like to leave my two cents on.

First and foremost:

the idea of having some LIVE music for a while (consider yourself hired, Oli ;) )

Consider me flattered. I'd be honored to provide.

We'll have wedding photos resembling Dawn and Oli's with Kristen's hands on my ass ;)

You just scared the living daylights out of Dweezil with the laugh that elicited from me. :)

if we start the dancing with "our song" (as is traditional), WHAT SONG DO WE PICK?!?!?!?!

Perhaps something from the BNL library? I know that's somewhere that the two of you very much meet, music-wise.

[lawchicky.livejournal.com]

Howey! How very sweet of you to be thinking of things like this :) Just a couple of short little thoughts I had (I could go on and on about weddings!)

I think a small wedding is always a great idea. Josh and I were intent on having all the people we loved around us, and a few miscellaneous family members out of respect.

We wound up optning for a fairly traditional ceremony, though a short one, and we exchanged the rings. I really like that part of the ceremony, even if I couldn't stop giggling.

As for a song, we wound up picking something obscure.. a song that we heard and really loved, and we knew would be just OUR song. Hopefully something like that will happen for you and Kristin too... I mean we never had "a song," until we heard that one, and we knew right away that it was the right one.

[circa.livejournal.com]

We did't have 'our' song til the wedding day. I was merrily avoiding dancing a 'first dance' when Andy dragged me over to Neil, who was in charge of the music, and he suggested it.

so I think we more have a song to remind us of our wedding day, rather than a song that reminded us of each other on the day. We're just odd :)

[dustkitten.livejournal.com]

So, Gines..what was it? :)

-A-

[lawchicky.livejournal.com]

"Come What May" from the Moulin Rouge soundtrack. Obscure, but romantic!

[dawnstar.livejournal.com]

Your opinions on weddings are pretty much entirely the same as mine, which is probably why you enjoyed our so much. :) I believe that the focus should be on the couple. Not on tradition, not on religion, not on the wedding party. On the couple. If they are very traditional people, then certainly the traditional ceremony would be appropriate. Etc.

Re: hand-fasting and ring-exchange... you can certainly do both. We did. :)

I look forward to the day when I get to watch you two stand up there, as you two watched us in October. :)

[lite.livejournal.com]

Poor Dweezil :)

The problem (and this reply is for everyone who commented if they bother to check back) isn't finding a song we both like like(Yes, feel free to add BnL's "Wrap Your Arms" or "Life, in a Nutshell" to us songs), but choosing only one.
If you ever listen to our two playlists, hand in hand, there's ALOT of overlap. There was alot before we dated, but now the only way to tell whose playlist is playing is in the details (I have more TMBG, Al, Fruvous. She has more Amanda Marshall, Ani, Tori)

Perhaps, by the time the blessed event occurs, we'll find THE song.. THE one we have to play as our first dance.

[phoenixsong]

I do not have a lot of Tori! I have *checks* 7 files.

And two of them are live versions of Cornflake Girl. Aside from the studio version.

But yeah, the details are more along the lines of who has more of which artists/genres.