I haven't interacted with you in person either, really, so I can't help you with specifics. But I do think it's really good that you're trying to figure out what you're doing wrong, instead of just chalking it up to everyone else being too sensitive. Did the professor tell you any specific incidents, or did he just try to be general about it? If he didn't say anything specific (maybe to protect the people who complained), ask him to urge those people to tell you their complaints directly... which they probably would do, if they know that you're trying to work on preventing that stuff. And then you might understand more about where the comments are coming from.
A similar thing happened to a friend of mine at her job, and I understand how frustrating it is, to know that you upset people without ever knowing it or intending it. She is also one of those people who always says what is on her mind and is very blunt about it - which I think is a very good quality. But like you said, one can be blunt without being abusive.
I actually teach a variety of workshops through Tau Beta Pi, one of which is People Skills, which deals with just the kind of problems you're talking about. The Buffalo chapter holds those workshops every so often, so I'll let you know when the next one is (most likely, early next semester) and maybe you could show up. It certainly couldn't hurt, and you might pick up a couple of pointers.
Good luck in the meantime! And I will let you know if you say anything that seems offensive, although I'm unlikely to notice anything just from these posts - I think it's more of an in-person thing.
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Date: 2002-05-13 01:56 pm (UTC)A similar thing happened to a friend of mine at her job, and I understand how frustrating it is, to know that you upset people without ever knowing it or intending it. She is also one of those people who always says what is on her mind and is very blunt about it - which I think is a very good quality. But like you said, one can be blunt without being abusive.
I actually teach a variety of workshops through Tau Beta Pi, one of which is People Skills, which deals with just the kind of problems you're talking about. The Buffalo chapter holds those workshops every so often, so I'll let you know when the next one is (most likely, early next semester) and maybe you could show up. It certainly couldn't hurt, and you might pick up a couple of pointers.
Good luck in the meantime! And I will let you know if you say anything that seems offensive, although I'm unlikely to notice anything just from these posts - I think it's more of an in-person thing.