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hkellickYesterday was the Arthur Murray Medalist Ball, which is a special ball where
all the Arthur Murray students who've graduated and moved up to another
level get recognized for their achievement. This recognition, in true Arthur
Murray fashion, is a special honor dance. For example, the Bronze I
graduates (which we are not one of this year. Next year, for sure!) all
grabbed their partners (if they joined with a partner as K and I did.) or an
instructor and all foxtrotted around while the rest of the students clapped
and occasionally hooted and hollered before going over to one side of the
room to receive a certification of completion and have your picture taken
with Estelle and your instructor. It was a semi-formal occasion, which means
everyone was looking especially nice today.
I must say... Ballroom Dancing just looks better in formal clothes. I'm not
sure about some of the super-fancy dancing costumes, but put a suit on a guy
and a nice dress on a girl and.. it just seems more.. right, more
appropriate.
It occurred to me, as I was thinking of writing this post, that I can't
remember the last time I talked about Arthur Murray with y'all. Things have
changed a bit since the last time I THINK I wrote.
I knew before Christmas that K wanted to go back to Choir. Choir is very
important to Kristen. She loves singing. She loves the community. She loves
her church. The only trick we've run into is that Choir practices happen to
be Thursday night, the same night as Arthur Murray's Group Class and
Practice. We tried having K skip out on Choir because we thought the
practices were more important and K was MISERABLE. She Hated It. So we knew
that this year K had to work out a reasonably way to do both.
One concern.. honestly both of us had was what I'd do when K was at Choir.
She was concerned (with good reason!) that I'd skip out on going to Group
Class and Practice if she wasn't there to dance with. We both knew this
wasn't really ideal and that sooner or later, it would be good if I could
get comfortable with the idea of going to Class and Practice alone.
Looping the Life Tape backwards a few months, I DID try to go to a Group
Class alone one week. I think it was the week K went into Buffalo alone for
the Bridal Shower/Bachelorette Party. We were both still newcomers at the
time and, honestly, the entire day felt like.. a total disaster. It was one
of those rare, at the time, days when there were more men at the class than
women and I could NOT find anyone to dance with. The Practice was worse. Not
only couldn't I find anyone to dance with, but I ended up spendingt he night
dancing with the instructors, feeling stupid and uncomfortable (not helped
by some of the instructors. K has her horror stories about dancing with some
of the instructors. So do I. Most of my horror stories hark back to that
night.)
So, with all that known, during the Christmas Ball last year, I made a point
of dancing with other women. In part, just because I wanted to keep going
where K needed to stop, and partly.. to try to get used to the idea of
dancing with other women, so I COULD feel comfortable going to dance classes
and practice without K. Truth be told, dancing as a medalist is very
different than dancing with a newcomer. There's alot more people in practice
and there always seems to be a spare lady or two, at least until 9:30
(though I'd already met the one medalist I didn't enjoy dancing with.) The
Christmas Ball was alot of fun and I had a chance to pick a handful of
people I felt totally comfortable dancing with.
For those who don't dance... dancing is... well, to use an aphorism one of
our instructors used.. dancing is like a conversation. You want to talk to
people you feel comfortable talking to. There's all sorts of things that can
turn a conversation sour. Someone with a style of conversation you just
don't care for. Someone who doesn't know how to give and take in a
conversation, etc. All of that applies to dancing as well.
In Dancing, you want to find a partner who at least is willing to match your
style. If you're the type of man who likes to have his partner's dress
swishing this way and that, you need to find a partner who doesn't mind
being twirled and whirled. Otherwise, you have a mismatch in style. And give
and take.. lead and follow is vital for all dancers. Lead establishes to
your partner what it is you're doing and where it is you're leading her. A
good Follow can read the signs and do her part. It really IS alot like a
conversation.
ANYWAYS, so during the Christmas Ball, I picked out a couple of other Non-K
non-instructor partners I felt totally comfortable dancing with. These were
people who were in my level, by and large, which might have helped me feel
comfortable dancing with them.
After the Christmas Ball, I knew I felt more comfortable with the IDEA of
going to a dance practice without her. Which was good, as she'd already
planned to go back to Choir right after the holidays.
So every other Thursday, by and large (with one skip over the last two
months because the weather threatened to get ugly), I've gone to dance class
and practice, sans my wife. That's been an.. interesting experience, because
it's really given me a chance to come out of my shell a little bit (a lot
bit) with other dancers and really get to know some of the other people
around me a bit. In the two months I've gone to alternate classes sans K,
there's been a bunch of interesting "get to know everyone else moments."
Things like.. on Valentine's Day, they put out dance cards and you had to go
around, find five SEPARATE people and make them be your dance partners for
at least two dances. Or... OK, let's all get in the middle of the room, guys
on the inside, women on the outside.. to the left, to the left.. stop. That
person in front of you is #1 (you'll rumba with her later). OK, to the
right, to the right, to the right. Stop! That person in front of you is #2
(You'll Waltz with her later) Now to the left, to the left, to the left.
Stop. That person in front of you is #3 (You'll Swing with her after you
Waltz with #2).
And sometimes.. sometimes I just can't find a partner and I don't feel like
not dancing, so you look around the edges for someone who's sitting or
standing around, walk up to them and go "Care to dance? Hi, I'm Howard. Nice
to meet you!"
Over the last two months, I've really gotten a chance to get to know some of
these people a bit more. i've gotten to know their names and enough about
them to crack an occasional joke (I'm the class clown, when comfortable. I'm
sure this shocks you all).
The changes, as they were, all sort of came to my attention in a moment of
Infinite Amusement last Thursday. K's come to dance class. We practice
together, do a couple of dances. K gets scraped badly across the foot by
someone's heel and goes to sit down to look at it and until her foot hurts.
So I, without a second thought, wander off and get another partner to dance.
K reappears, we dance a couple more dances and then she has to sit down, so
again, I go, find another partner and dance some more.
Somewhere near the end of the night, the moment of Infinite Amusement
happens. K reappears and says something to the effect of "I don't mind you
dance with other women, but when I'm here, *I* want some dances with you
too!"
Well now. Turn around sure is a Butch, isn't it? ;)
And seriously, as I sit and think about that statement and what it means and
what I've done in the last two months, I realize I've done to Dance Classes
what K has done to Choir. These people are my community. Dancing is a
conversation, remember? (And often we have REAL conversations while dancing.
:) ) I've gotten to know alot of people. I know whom to joke with, whom to
harass a little (you know I like you when I harass you.). I'll clown around
in class a litte, say hello to people and... wow. I have another community.
I community I really enjoy spending time with. This is POSITIVE. It's GOOD.
And that's good. Dancing isn't always easy. Sometimes it's stressful.
Sometimes we take stress with us from other places (like.. oh, say... WORK!)
and bring it with us to dance. So it's good to pause, look around and
realize just what it is I've built for myself here.
And once again, I have to smile a little, shake my head and wonder
"Seriously? Ballroom Dancing? Who knew?"
PS: Somewhere, and at some point, I want to actually get done another
dancing thought I've had, regarding favorite dances and how THEY'VE changed
over time too. I'm excited about Bronze II, in part just because I'd love to
see a little new life breathed into some old dances we haven't done much
with in, say, nearly a year (like.. oh.. Club Swing which looks almost drab
and boring now since, so far, there's not much to it.)
all the Arthur Murray students who've graduated and moved up to another
level get recognized for their achievement. This recognition, in true Arthur
Murray fashion, is a special honor dance. For example, the Bronze I
graduates (which we are not one of this year. Next year, for sure!) all
grabbed their partners (if they joined with a partner as K and I did.) or an
instructor and all foxtrotted around while the rest of the students clapped
and occasionally hooted and hollered before going over to one side of the
room to receive a certification of completion and have your picture taken
with Estelle and your instructor. It was a semi-formal occasion, which means
everyone was looking especially nice today.
I must say... Ballroom Dancing just looks better in formal clothes. I'm not
sure about some of the super-fancy dancing costumes, but put a suit on a guy
and a nice dress on a girl and.. it just seems more.. right, more
appropriate.
It occurred to me, as I was thinking of writing this post, that I can't
remember the last time I talked about Arthur Murray with y'all. Things have
changed a bit since the last time I THINK I wrote.
I knew before Christmas that K wanted to go back to Choir. Choir is very
important to Kristen. She loves singing. She loves the community. She loves
her church. The only trick we've run into is that Choir practices happen to
be Thursday night, the same night as Arthur Murray's Group Class and
Practice. We tried having K skip out on Choir because we thought the
practices were more important and K was MISERABLE. She Hated It. So we knew
that this year K had to work out a reasonably way to do both.
One concern.. honestly both of us had was what I'd do when K was at Choir.
She was concerned (with good reason!) that I'd skip out on going to Group
Class and Practice if she wasn't there to dance with. We both knew this
wasn't really ideal and that sooner or later, it would be good if I could
get comfortable with the idea of going to Class and Practice alone.
Looping the Life Tape backwards a few months, I DID try to go to a Group
Class alone one week. I think it was the week K went into Buffalo alone for
the Bridal Shower/Bachelorette Party. We were both still newcomers at the
time and, honestly, the entire day felt like.. a total disaster. It was one
of those rare, at the time, days when there were more men at the class than
women and I could NOT find anyone to dance with. The Practice was worse. Not
only couldn't I find anyone to dance with, but I ended up spendingt he night
dancing with the instructors, feeling stupid and uncomfortable (not helped
by some of the instructors. K has her horror stories about dancing with some
of the instructors. So do I. Most of my horror stories hark back to that
night.)
So, with all that known, during the Christmas Ball last year, I made a point
of dancing with other women. In part, just because I wanted to keep going
where K needed to stop, and partly.. to try to get used to the idea of
dancing with other women, so I COULD feel comfortable going to dance classes
and practice without K. Truth be told, dancing as a medalist is very
different than dancing with a newcomer. There's alot more people in practice
and there always seems to be a spare lady or two, at least until 9:30
(though I'd already met the one medalist I didn't enjoy dancing with.) The
Christmas Ball was alot of fun and I had a chance to pick a handful of
people I felt totally comfortable dancing with.
For those who don't dance... dancing is... well, to use an aphorism one of
our instructors used.. dancing is like a conversation. You want to talk to
people you feel comfortable talking to. There's all sorts of things that can
turn a conversation sour. Someone with a style of conversation you just
don't care for. Someone who doesn't know how to give and take in a
conversation, etc. All of that applies to dancing as well.
In Dancing, you want to find a partner who at least is willing to match your
style. If you're the type of man who likes to have his partner's dress
swishing this way and that, you need to find a partner who doesn't mind
being twirled and whirled. Otherwise, you have a mismatch in style. And give
and take.. lead and follow is vital for all dancers. Lead establishes to
your partner what it is you're doing and where it is you're leading her. A
good Follow can read the signs and do her part. It really IS alot like a
conversation.
ANYWAYS, so during the Christmas Ball, I picked out a couple of other Non-K
non-instructor partners I felt totally comfortable dancing with. These were
people who were in my level, by and large, which might have helped me feel
comfortable dancing with them.
After the Christmas Ball, I knew I felt more comfortable with the IDEA of
going to a dance practice without her. Which was good, as she'd already
planned to go back to Choir right after the holidays.
So every other Thursday, by and large (with one skip over the last two
months because the weather threatened to get ugly), I've gone to dance class
and practice, sans my wife. That's been an.. interesting experience, because
it's really given me a chance to come out of my shell a little bit (a lot
bit) with other dancers and really get to know some of the other people
around me a bit. In the two months I've gone to alternate classes sans K,
there's been a bunch of interesting "get to know everyone else moments."
Things like.. on Valentine's Day, they put out dance cards and you had to go
around, find five SEPARATE people and make them be your dance partners for
at least two dances. Or... OK, let's all get in the middle of the room, guys
on the inside, women on the outside.. to the left, to the left.. stop. That
person in front of you is #1 (you'll rumba with her later). OK, to the
right, to the right, to the right. Stop! That person in front of you is #2
(You'll Waltz with her later) Now to the left, to the left, to the left.
Stop. That person in front of you is #3 (You'll Swing with her after you
Waltz with #2).
And sometimes.. sometimes I just can't find a partner and I don't feel like
not dancing, so you look around the edges for someone who's sitting or
standing around, walk up to them and go "Care to dance? Hi, I'm Howard. Nice
to meet you!"
Over the last two months, I've really gotten a chance to get to know some of
these people a bit more. i've gotten to know their names and enough about
them to crack an occasional joke (I'm the class clown, when comfortable. I'm
sure this shocks you all).
The changes, as they were, all sort of came to my attention in a moment of
Infinite Amusement last Thursday. K's come to dance class. We practice
together, do a couple of dances. K gets scraped badly across the foot by
someone's heel and goes to sit down to look at it and until her foot hurts.
So I, without a second thought, wander off and get another partner to dance.
K reappears, we dance a couple more dances and then she has to sit down, so
again, I go, find another partner and dance some more.
Somewhere near the end of the night, the moment of Infinite Amusement
happens. K reappears and says something to the effect of "I don't mind you
dance with other women, but when I'm here, *I* want some dances with you
too!"
Well now. Turn around sure is a Butch, isn't it? ;)
And seriously, as I sit and think about that statement and what it means and
what I've done in the last two months, I realize I've done to Dance Classes
what K has done to Choir. These people are my community. Dancing is a
conversation, remember? (And often we have REAL conversations while dancing.
:) ) I've gotten to know alot of people. I know whom to joke with, whom to
harass a little (you know I like you when I harass you.). I'll clown around
in class a litte, say hello to people and... wow. I have another community.
I community I really enjoy spending time with. This is POSITIVE. It's GOOD.
And that's good. Dancing isn't always easy. Sometimes it's stressful.
Sometimes we take stress with us from other places (like.. oh, say... WORK!)
and bring it with us to dance. So it's good to pause, look around and
realize just what it is I've built for myself here.
And once again, I have to smile a little, shake my head and wonder
"Seriously? Ballroom Dancing? Who knew?"
PS: Somewhere, and at some point, I want to actually get done another
dancing thought I've had, regarding favorite dances and how THEY'VE changed
over time too. I'm excited about Bronze II, in part just because I'd love to
see a little new life breathed into some old dances we haven't done much
with in, say, nearly a year (like.. oh.. Club Swing which looks almost drab
and boring now since, so far, there's not much to it.)
