(no subject)

[hkellick]

Happy Belated Birthday, vissith. Hope it was a good one for you.

I woke up feeling really really sappy. I love my dork :)

Fought with ecwoodburn for a while. To be honest, it was another stupid argument. I've been replaying part of it through my head and some was maybe valid but the rest was probably the two of us being miserable at each other.
The valid portion, and the one I guess I'm willing to discuss a little bit was this weekend.
This weekend was.. a mistake.
Kristen was feeling really rotten. The antibiotic (we think) was knocking her out and she was getting these terrible headaches. She was supposed to come to Buffalo and she couldn't.
I thought about it and thought that maybe if she was feeling bad, the best thing for her to do would be to have time alone to heal. She wanted a weekend alone to NOT rush around and to get some domestics done. I was afraid that I'd be too demanding on her, not emotionally so much as physically (Let's go here, let's do this.)
That was my mistake.. I made the decision for us. We didn't talk about it. We didn't talk about whether she'd feel better if I came up for the weekend. In the end, that was probably the best choice.
I'm sorry, Kristen. We should have discussed it more. It was obviously more important than I gave it credit for and I screwed up.
Things didn't end there, though. Once I decided not to go to Rochester and she was obviously too sick to come to Buffalo, I started getting depressed and incredibly lonely. I mean, really really lonely. I just couldn't "go back" to how weekends were before I had Kristen in my life. I did enjoy some time playing DDR and playing SimCity 4, but I'd much rather have been with her.
And so, as some of you know, I was just depressed all weekend.
There are other extenuating circumstances. Like I posted this weekend, my father is still an asshole and my brother (Marc) too.

I'm planning to go see "American Wedding" tonight. I've been looking forward to seeing this movie for a while and since no one but Josh wants to see it with me and he's always busy, I've just never gotten around to it. That said, tonight no one is home until later (assuming Josh works), so I'll probably go see an early movie.

I finally tried new Diet Pepsi Vanilla. It tastes good. It tastes very much like Vanilla Coke to me. Some difference, but not a whole lot.

Can't think of anything else I need to say, so off I go.

Edit: I wanted to publicly post that I wrote circa at her livejournal.com email yesterday. There was a misunderstanding between us that may have lead up to the cessation of our friendship. My email explains how the misunderstanding happened and extended the proverbial olive branch. I hope she replies. If not.. then I'll know.

Comments

[kareila]

There's always us imaginary people in your computer too. *hugs*

[lite.livejournal.com]

Of course there is. :) And I'm not saying your presence would have been anything but welcome, but.. you know.. Boston. Buffalo. Not too close together, sadly :(

[circa.livejournal.com]

I haven't checked my email yet, will do it in a sec. :)