Good news, at last..
Dec. 1st, 2004 09:20 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
hkellickMy mom is out of the hospital. She's holed up at home with an oxygen tank and various drugs, but, at the last, she's back home. Now hopefully someone can beat some sense into Joshua so that it's a relatively painless however long at home until mom goes back to school.
I swear if it isn't, I'll beat the shit out of him myself.
I've been running tired lately. When I say tired, I mean borderline exhaustion that's made me stupid if I'm not careful. I keep waking up at god awful early. I think I'm going to try to kick my ass in the gym today (it's time to start lifting weights.) and then go to bed early again. I went to bed early last night, and slept like a brick until about 4:30 AM.. then I went in and out of sleep until 6:30 and I just feel tired again today.
I'm having serious problems relaxing lately. Some of it is just the stress from this last month: Kristen's family, my family, seriously considering a future with Kristen and what that REALLY means (In 20 days, Kristen and I will have been together for a year and a half. In itself, that's great, but I think, especially with Kristen's family dealing with Katie's wedding right now, we're getting a little taste to some of the nightmares we have yet to face.)
Some of it is the weather. As many of you know, I suffer from Seasonal Affective Disorder (I get depressed in the winter). It may not be snowing out, but when it's not sunny, it's this miserable cold drizzle rain that sucks and it depresses both Kristen an I.
And Kristen too... it's difficult to deal with Kristen and I snipping at each other, which we've done all too much recently because we're both overstressed and not dealing with it as well as we should and we've been running pretty hard.
And then there's the running... my day feels absolutely solidly booked. Wake up at 6:30, run to get ready for work, at work by 8:00, out of work by 5:00, if I can, off to the gym and out by 6:30, home by 7:00, in bed by 9:30. It doesn't REALLY leave me alot of time to get much of ANYTHING done: not relaxation and not stuff like cooking and cleaning and scooping cat litter. But if we leave that for the weekend (which we have a bad habit of doing), then the weekend is suddenly overbooked.
All of our weekends last month felt overbooked.. whether it was running around and doing errands or running off here or there or, even, pushing ourselves to go out to a movie or dinner or something.
We've probably pushed ourselves far too hard.
Maybe we should just take this weekend off. At least as much as we can, Kristen. Where we can clean your place a little bit on one day and cook the other day and that's it. No running around anywhere. Well, maybe the gym if you go to church, but that's it. Just.. relax. I'll grab West Wing and Farscape.. and that Down Periscope movie because it's amusing and it's fluff and that way I can get some amusing fluff in between the more hardcore stuff :) Or, I could bring my games over and we could do some of that too. I don't care, so long as we stay home and relax, OK? :)
And then there's the iPod. What I WANTED to do is rate everything before hand and then know what to put on the iPod. Stop laughing at me! Unsurprisingly, I feel like I've been crunching through stuff since I brought it home Saturday and I KNOW it's taking away all the other free time I might have relaxing so I think I'll probably just toss a whole bunch of stuff on it next and sort through it on the go. (Yay for the ability to rate on the iPod) Maybe try to be intelligent and set up autoupdating for anything that's checked (basically, anything four or five stars) and a smartlist of unrated songs when I have the time and interest. Because I want that hour or two back before I go to bed to read or veg in front of a game or something that will actually help me relax some.
So, yeah. This was a longer post than anticipated. But... I just needed to vent about feeling exhausted and overstressed.
I swear if it isn't, I'll beat the shit out of him myself.
I've been running tired lately. When I say tired, I mean borderline exhaustion that's made me stupid if I'm not careful. I keep waking up at god awful early. I think I'm going to try to kick my ass in the gym today (it's time to start lifting weights.) and then go to bed early again. I went to bed early last night, and slept like a brick until about 4:30 AM.. then I went in and out of sleep until 6:30 and I just feel tired again today.
I'm having serious problems relaxing lately. Some of it is just the stress from this last month: Kristen's family, my family, seriously considering a future with Kristen and what that REALLY means (In 20 days, Kristen and I will have been together for a year and a half. In itself, that's great, but I think, especially with Kristen's family dealing with Katie's wedding right now, we're getting a little taste to some of the nightmares we have yet to face.)
Some of it is the weather. As many of you know, I suffer from Seasonal Affective Disorder (I get depressed in the winter). It may not be snowing out, but when it's not sunny, it's this miserable cold drizzle rain that sucks and it depresses both Kristen an I.
And Kristen too... it's difficult to deal with Kristen and I snipping at each other, which we've done all too much recently because we're both overstressed and not dealing with it as well as we should and we've been running pretty hard.
And then there's the running... my day feels absolutely solidly booked. Wake up at 6:30, run to get ready for work, at work by 8:00, out of work by 5:00, if I can, off to the gym and out by 6:30, home by 7:00, in bed by 9:30. It doesn't REALLY leave me alot of time to get much of ANYTHING done: not relaxation and not stuff like cooking and cleaning and scooping cat litter. But if we leave that for the weekend (which we have a bad habit of doing), then the weekend is suddenly overbooked.
All of our weekends last month felt overbooked.. whether it was running around and doing errands or running off here or there or, even, pushing ourselves to go out to a movie or dinner or something.
We've probably pushed ourselves far too hard.
Maybe we should just take this weekend off. At least as much as we can, Kristen. Where we can clean your place a little bit on one day and cook the other day and that's it. No running around anywhere. Well, maybe the gym if you go to church, but that's it. Just.. relax. I'll grab West Wing and Farscape.. and that Down Periscope movie because it's amusing and it's fluff and that way I can get some amusing fluff in between the more hardcore stuff :) Or, I could bring my games over and we could do some of that too. I don't care, so long as we stay home and relax, OK? :)
And then there's the iPod. What I WANTED to do is rate everything before hand and then know what to put on the iPod. Stop laughing at me! Unsurprisingly, I feel like I've been crunching through stuff since I brought it home Saturday and I KNOW it's taking away all the other free time I might have relaxing so I think I'll probably just toss a whole bunch of stuff on it next and sort through it on the go. (Yay for the ability to rate on the iPod) Maybe try to be intelligent and set up autoupdating for anything that's checked (basically, anything four or five stars) and a smartlist of unrated songs when I have the time and interest. Because I want that hour or two back before I go to bed to read or veg in front of a game or something that will actually help me relax some.
So, yeah. This was a longer post than anticipated. But... I just needed to vent about feeling exhausted and overstressed.
(no subject)
Date: 2004-12-01 06:36 am (UTC)*sigh* I know, I know. And I want to kick my own butt into gear on weeknights, too.
It's December 1. Whatever we do, can we try to have a clean slate from last month? I really, really, REALLY want to get past that. I want to be able to enjoy this month.
(no subject)
Date: 2004-12-01 07:03 am (UTC)How long have you know about this get-together?
I'm all for a clean slate. Do you think we can just start again or should the two of us sit down and talk until we can start again?
(no subject)
Date: 2004-12-01 07:45 am (UTC)I think we're OK, together; it's us as individuals that have been carrying a lot of extra baggage. Agreed? If so, I think it's just a matter of clearing our heads a bit individually so we don't start playing emotional ping-pong when we do get together.
(no subject)
Date: 2004-12-01 07:48 am (UTC)Suggestions on how to clear our heads and stop ping-ponging? Yes, I'm serious. Both of us have the ability to hold onto being stressed and frustrated long after the actual event happened.
(no subject)
Date: 2004-12-01 09:11 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2004-12-01 10:18 am (UTC)I agree that we can and should deal with things seperately and force ourselves to find the time to do it, but I don't think everything is a "seprate" issue.
I know I've got frustrations in regards to our behavior together and your behavior towards me over the last month or so. I don't want to get into it over livejournal. I think I'd feel better talking to you about them instead of letting them possibly blow up. That's the other way I deal with things. Things don't really just go away for me. I need to deal with them before I can move on.
(no subject)
Date: 2004-12-01 09:17 am (UTC)Anyway, that's kind of what I'm thinking as far as us clearing our individual baggage. Is there something we need to be working on together, or something you need my help with?
(no subject)
Date: 2004-12-01 11:16 am (UTC)Hope your December is better than your November.
(no subject)
Date: 2004-12-01 11:23 am (UTC)Come to think of it, I'm not going to curse myself by saying anymore.
I love the iPod already :) It's big, it's awesome. iTunes kicks the ass of pretty much every other mp3 program I've worked with (and I've worked with a few!)
I can even take it into the gym supposedly (gonna try today :) )Getting the iPod = Big Yay for LITEses :)
*snugs tight*
I miss you. I need to catch up with you on AIM :)
(no subject)
Date: 2004-12-01 11:44 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2004-12-01 11:48 am (UTC)I dunno. When is good for you? :)
(no subject)
Date: 2004-12-01 11:50 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2004-12-01 11:52 am (UTC)*thinks* I can do any day this week but Friday. Hopefully not today either as I hope to kick my ass in the gym and come home tired enough to sleep all night.
(no subject)
Date: 2004-12-01 11:56 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2004-12-01 12:05 pm (UTC)uh... how about I try to find you today at 8:00? That should work, I hope. :)
*excited*