Purple Toupee will show the way
Feb. 16th, 2002 12:01 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
hkellickAdelphia's been really shitty again lately. Couldn't get to my email for the longest time yesterday. Now it's 2:15 PM on a Friday afternoon and I'm still not getting anything. Not email, not a line out to Chaotic, not even LJ.
And I despise being on hold.
Well, now I have email, but no LJ and no Chaotic.
Grrr...
Anyways, this wasn't going to be the focus of my post.
For those of you curious, I just got back from Fiddler. The dinner was.. lacking somewhat. The place was too fancy.. they had expensive food, but it wasn't particularly filling. It wasn't ENOUGH for the LITE-Belly.
The show was good though. Unfortunately, the seats left something to be desired. We were in the lower balcony and we had NO leg room! UGH!
But it was a good show. :)
I've been doing alot of self-reflection lately. I've been thinking about who I am and how I got here.
It seems to me, as I go over my history, that there's alot of recurring themes in my life.
One is strife. I get in alot of arguments. It's a near-constant thing with me. It's not always my fault, but often it is.
I'm GOOD at fighting. It's something I excel at. A talent, if you will.. I don't take certain things well. I don't like it when people attack me. I don't like it when people attack my friends. I despise people who act like assholes. I despise people who are consistently dishonest.
The list could probably go on and on and on.
I've gotten into alot of fights. Fights with my friends, fights with my ex-friends, fights with people I've grown to despise.
My father, Bonni Hall, Stargazer, Marci... and more recently ara, scoob and Stebe.
I have a fairly long list of people I've battled with.
I'm not here to give reasons... I don't have most of them. Others... it's not worth getting into.
There's a lesson to be learned here (more than one, most likely) and I'm not certain I have a handle on what that is.
I think I've resigned myself to the fact that I'm all too human and all too imperfect. I'm not certain that's a bad thing, though.
On the other hand, there's other things to be said.. I've been friends with Kar for 8 years, Sor... 4? 5 years? Aldar, 3 or so... Rhayden, 1
The point being that regardless of my less than perfect self, people LIKE me. It's not just borne of pity, but of the fact that they see the other better side of me and can deal with the lesser side of me.
I'm not as pathetic as my hate club would have you think. Not that they really are the best judges of my character either. If I need a reality check on my less than perfect side, I can feel free to listen to their rantings and ravings. But to get a TRUE picture of myself, these people simply won't due. They're too biased to admit to themselves or to anyone else that there is a good side to me.
That's when it's good to have friends around... they can tell you when yer being an ass and still love ya in the morning. They see who you REALLY are... whoever that is.
And boy, did this post take a twist I hadn't expected...
Oh well... I'll post this while I still can, before Adelphia decides to commence suckage.
And I despise being on hold.
Well, now I have email, but no LJ and no Chaotic.
Grrr...
Anyways, this wasn't going to be the focus of my post.
For those of you curious, I just got back from Fiddler. The dinner was.. lacking somewhat. The place was too fancy.. they had expensive food, but it wasn't particularly filling. It wasn't ENOUGH for the LITE-Belly.
The show was good though. Unfortunately, the seats left something to be desired. We were in the lower balcony and we had NO leg room! UGH!
But it was a good show. :)
I've been doing alot of self-reflection lately. I've been thinking about who I am and how I got here.
It seems to me, as I go over my history, that there's alot of recurring themes in my life.
One is strife. I get in alot of arguments. It's a near-constant thing with me. It's not always my fault, but often it is.
I'm GOOD at fighting. It's something I excel at. A talent, if you will.. I don't take certain things well. I don't like it when people attack me. I don't like it when people attack my friends. I despise people who act like assholes. I despise people who are consistently dishonest.
The list could probably go on and on and on.
I've gotten into alot of fights. Fights with my friends, fights with my ex-friends, fights with people I've grown to despise.
My father, Bonni Hall, Stargazer, Marci... and more recently ara, scoob and Stebe.
I have a fairly long list of people I've battled with.
I'm not here to give reasons... I don't have most of them. Others... it's not worth getting into.
There's a lesson to be learned here (more than one, most likely) and I'm not certain I have a handle on what that is.
I think I've resigned myself to the fact that I'm all too human and all too imperfect. I'm not certain that's a bad thing, though.
On the other hand, there's other things to be said.. I've been friends with Kar for 8 years, Sor... 4? 5 years? Aldar, 3 or so... Rhayden, 1
The point being that regardless of my less than perfect self, people LIKE me. It's not just borne of pity, but of the fact that they see the other better side of me and can deal with the lesser side of me.
I'm not as pathetic as my hate club would have you think. Not that they really are the best judges of my character either. If I need a reality check on my less than perfect side, I can feel free to listen to their rantings and ravings. But to get a TRUE picture of myself, these people simply won't due. They're too biased to admit to themselves or to anyone else that there is a good side to me.
That's when it's good to have friends around... they can tell you when yer being an ass and still love ya in the morning. They see who you REALLY are... whoever that is.
And boy, did this post take a twist I hadn't expected...
Oh well... I'll post this while I still can, before Adelphia decides to commence suckage.
