On the nature of Friendship

[hkellick]

Today's been an.. interesting day.
In good news, the car is back and the brakes are fixed. Yay! ^^
In less than necessarily good news, I've been doing some thinking about friendship.

See, it started with Alana's post about whether or not we have any idea how many kids are in Tash's class. It was a small detail and the type of thing I'd probably never remember in my own life, forget anyone else's.
But that's not really the point. Nor is the point that I suggested that Alana had not, in fact, ever posted the number of people in Tash's class and she had (albeit only three times in the past year.)
The point came down to the realization that more times than not, when Alana writes her sometimes typically long posts, I generally skim over them and try to get the general gist, the point. And it occurs to me, having talked to her many times about how I don't get her, that maybe this is part of why.
Yes, it's true, on the other hand I do tend to talk to her nearly every day on AIM and we talk about... pretty much everything.
But does that make her a Friend or does that make her someone I feel I can talk to? Are the two seperable?

See, on one hand if someone like ecwoodburn were to type up a four page post about how life has been, I'd probably eventually read every word, possibly multiple times. So why the difference?
Alana put the finger on it. it's about priorities.

And so I got to thinking.. why do some journals have higher priority to me than others. There are, without a doubt, a few levels of journal readership. Some I don't read at all anymore, or if I do, it's something brief and concised. Some I read when I don't feel rushed for times. Some I read near constantly.
I was talking to ecwoodburn and she brought up something I hadn't really considered at the point. How often do I see the people I see?
And so here it goes... my best friends, those that I read constantly.. are people I have a "Real Life" connection to. People I've met, felt that connection, and still see on a semi-regular basis.
It used to be that I'd rate real life friendships along with online relationships, but I have to concede that online relationships aren't as good and emotionally fulfilling as a real life relationship.
I'm not saying that those people I see on a regular basis are, simply on that basis alone, better friends than those I never see, but that those frienships that move out of cyberspace and into real life touch me deeper than those that have never touched real life.
And, I guess that's a bit surprising to me, because I'd always considered relationships in cyberspace to be on par to those that weren't.

So, anyways, yeah...maybe make that another reason why you need to meet me again, dustkitten.

Comments

[kareila]

There's something about meeting someone offline, even if you mostly talk to them online, that just helps all the pieces fall into place.

The people I read in most detail are the people I'm closest to, or if someone only posts once every few months, I'll read their words more carefully than someone who posts often. Long rambly posts often get skimmed as well. There's definitely a spectrum of interest that's not simply a function of how much you care about someone, although that's definitely a factor. Presentation counts as well.

[lite.livejournal.com]

Agreed. It is definately easier to read posts that are clear, concise (compared to long rambly posts about anything that comes to your mind at the time) and, preferably, well thought out