Yesterday and Today
Sep. 6th, 2003 05:22 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
hkellickAlright, I think I'm ready to post in a reasonable fashion about yesterday.
Yesterday was a bad day for me. Too much shit hit the fan and I ended up finishing the day feeling exhausted, depressed and totally emotionally spent.
Where to start?
I haven't been sleeping well. My sleep schedule sucks. Some weeks I sleep too much. Some I sleep too little. I almost never get the right amount of sleep :p And spending weekends either in Rochester or on the couch on the first floor has not helped so much in that regard.
Suffice it to say that yesterday I had not slept well, I attempted to nap and failed and, oh, ended up waking and being up early today too.
This is fucking ridiculous.
At the least I got a little nap in earleir, after spending what felt like hours lying awake telling myself to fucking be tired already.
My body hates me :p
I was on a hating streak yesterday too. Alot of people in my life are being total (to borrow a term I saw earlier this week) twats.
The people I'm most angry at, at the moment are, of course, my family.
Well, specifically, Marc and Dad and since he's angry as well as, hence, miserable, at times Josh.
So, case by case.
Marc
Apparently, while I was in Rochester last weekend, Marc called mom just as she was heading out to go to the beach. She was heading out and wasn't going to wait for him, but she did mention Josh hadn't left yet and maybe the two could drive down together.
The hole with this plan is that Josh will not, for good reason, drive with Marc. Marc is an absolutely terrible driver and Josh does not feel safe in any car with him. So Josh and Marc drove to the beach seperately.
What I didn't know until yesterday, though, and only because Josh is so upset about it is that while at the beach, Marc offered Jaime some drugs and/or drug paraphenelia.
That is so not cool.
She turned him down, but that's not really the point.
Dad
Oh, Dad, you stupid moronic idiot.
Josh has been in debt to my father since he started college. What with dad being middle man for him getting financial aid and getting him a crappy ass POS car (which he borrowed money to get and, as far as I know, expects Josh to pay that too)
Josh's car crashed.. nearly six months ago and instead of going to a lawyer while the getting is good, dad's dragging his feet.
Josh owes him.. I'm not even sure how much, but since dad doesn't give grants, it's probably his life savings and then some because of car and college costs.
So yesterday, Josh and dad were talking on the phone yesterday about this problem and dad's solution is..well, you are only working 25 hours at Beechwood. You should get a second job.
Let me tell you about Josh's day... Day by day, Josh is responsible for.. school, homework, chores and work. (And when he doesn't go to school, he usually tried to work so he can actually get some money).
There is absolutely no way for Josh to have time to work a second job.
Doesn't this bastard who bore us bare any sort of sympathy for his own child?
That's what my father lacks.. any sort of sympathy.
Josh
Josh has been pissed off all week. No, for about a month now. He's pissed off at the world.
I don't blame him. I certainly was at his age too and putting up with what he puts up with on a daily basis, I can certainly understand.
I just get sick of his snippishness. It's not my fault that half his family is defective. I'd like to think I'm the half that isn't (at least all the tiem), but.. god, he needs someone to get him out of the brooding depressiong.
And then there's me.
My week has sucked.
I'm not sleeping.
Probably stupid and small things are being blown way out of proportion because I'm depressed and angry and all that too.
Part of that is Kristen. I was really looking forward to seeing Kristen. She couldn't wave a magical wand and make it all go away, but at the least, she could be comforting and supportive in a way she can't really be from in Rochester.
I'm not attributing blame or pointing fingers, but this is part of why I'm so grumpy.
Even if all we'd done was hang out, see a couple movies, go to the Zoo, it would have been a good weekend and would have done wonders for my mood.
But, alas, that is not to be.
There are other things going on, but I'm going to wait to see if I cheer up (I have to eventually, right? Right? :p ), before I consider touching some of those things.
So... I guess I'll post
Yesterday was a bad day for me. Too much shit hit the fan and I ended up finishing the day feeling exhausted, depressed and totally emotionally spent.
Where to start?
I haven't been sleeping well. My sleep schedule sucks. Some weeks I sleep too much. Some I sleep too little. I almost never get the right amount of sleep :p And spending weekends either in Rochester or on the couch on the first floor has not helped so much in that regard.
Suffice it to say that yesterday I had not slept well, I attempted to nap and failed and, oh, ended up waking and being up early today too.
This is fucking ridiculous.
At the least I got a little nap in earleir, after spending what felt like hours lying awake telling myself to fucking be tired already.
My body hates me :p
I was on a hating streak yesterday too. Alot of people in my life are being total (to borrow a term I saw earlier this week) twats.
The people I'm most angry at, at the moment are, of course, my family.
Well, specifically, Marc and Dad and since he's angry as well as, hence, miserable, at times Josh.
So, case by case.
Marc
Apparently, while I was in Rochester last weekend, Marc called mom just as she was heading out to go to the beach. She was heading out and wasn't going to wait for him, but she did mention Josh hadn't left yet and maybe the two could drive down together.
The hole with this plan is that Josh will not, for good reason, drive with Marc. Marc is an absolutely terrible driver and Josh does not feel safe in any car with him. So Josh and Marc drove to the beach seperately.
What I didn't know until yesterday, though, and only because Josh is so upset about it is that while at the beach, Marc offered Jaime some drugs and/or drug paraphenelia.
That is so not cool.
She turned him down, but that's not really the point.
Dad
Oh, Dad, you stupid moronic idiot.
Josh has been in debt to my father since he started college. What with dad being middle man for him getting financial aid and getting him a crappy ass POS car (which he borrowed money to get and, as far as I know, expects Josh to pay that too)
Josh's car crashed.. nearly six months ago and instead of going to a lawyer while the getting is good, dad's dragging his feet.
Josh owes him.. I'm not even sure how much, but since dad doesn't give grants, it's probably his life savings and then some because of car and college costs.
So yesterday, Josh and dad were talking on the phone yesterday about this problem and dad's solution is..well, you are only working 25 hours at Beechwood. You should get a second job.
Let me tell you about Josh's day... Day by day, Josh is responsible for.. school, homework, chores and work. (And when he doesn't go to school, he usually tried to work so he can actually get some money).
There is absolutely no way for Josh to have time to work a second job.
Doesn't this bastard who bore us bare any sort of sympathy for his own child?
That's what my father lacks.. any sort of sympathy.
Josh
Josh has been pissed off all week. No, for about a month now. He's pissed off at the world.
I don't blame him. I certainly was at his age too and putting up with what he puts up with on a daily basis, I can certainly understand.
I just get sick of his snippishness. It's not my fault that half his family is defective. I'd like to think I'm the half that isn't (at least all the tiem), but.. god, he needs someone to get him out of the brooding depressiong.
And then there's me.
My week has sucked.
I'm not sleeping.
Probably stupid and small things are being blown way out of proportion because I'm depressed and angry and all that too.
Part of that is Kristen. I was really looking forward to seeing Kristen. She couldn't wave a magical wand and make it all go away, but at the least, she could be comforting and supportive in a way she can't really be from in Rochester.
I'm not attributing blame or pointing fingers, but this is part of why I'm so grumpy.
Even if all we'd done was hang out, see a couple movies, go to the Zoo, it would have been a good weekend and would have done wonders for my mood.
But, alas, that is not to be.
There are other things going on, but I'm going to wait to see if I cheer up (I have to eventually, right? Right? :p ), before I consider touching some of those things.
So... I guess I'll post
(no subject)
Date: 2003-09-06 03:11 pm (UTC)Either way, I do wish we hadn't had to cancel, especially at the last minute like this. s:( *wants to pull you close and hold you until you can relax, and would stay in not-necessarily-comfortable positions to accomplish this*
*snugtight* I love you.
(no subject)
Date: 2003-09-06 06:01 pm (UTC)*wants to hold you close too. Need my human teddybear still* :)