Shocker

[hkellick]

I was in for a shocker today when I went to go visit my professor.
He said something that really bothers me.
Apparently there have been a FEW (more than a few) comments about me and the way that I treat people. In short, said Dr. Rabideau, I really need to work on my people skills.
What he sited was a habit of mine to be beyond blunt to the point of saying something that's just offensive. Part of it is totally dependant on the person. I'm not PC. I don't give people the bologna. I say what's on mind and I DON'T think that's a bad thing.
What I do need to work on is being... less abusive, I guess.
And I need to do it NOW because in a year, I'll be out looking for jobs and stuff.
*sighs*
I don't even really see it all the time. I know I have a habit of sticking my foot in my mouth, but not the point that a professor had to pull me aside and discuss it with me...
I dunno what to do. I can certainly try to keep a closer eye on how I speak and try not to be so... offensive.
I guess it worries me that a professor had to pull me aside and say something :/
I'd ask y'all to tell me when I'm being offensive, if y'all don't mind, but if it's a hassle, don't worry about it.

I have more to say, but I'm busy doing my project, so I'll write later.

Comments

[vissith.livejournal.com]

You do come off as offensive sometimes. It happens.

You're not alone though. One of my professors pulled me aside a week or two ago. Tried to counsel me on my habit of not taking shit from people and blasting them into oblivion for it. A bunch of people were acting really childlishy to me in my ethics class and he was like, look, you've already made them stoop to childishness, you've already won, you don't need to respond to them any more.

Getting a professor to pull you aside like that DOES suck. It hurts, it feels like you failed one of the only people that actually matter (especially if you respect them!)

So I feel your pain. In the end it's for the better though, probably.

[lite.livejournal.com]

Thanks. The worst part is the shame of being pulled aside by someone I look up to and told I need to seek professional help in dealing with people socially. That... hurt.

[kareila]

Maybe it feels ashaming, but he was trying to do you a favor. At least it's the private shame of hard advice and not the public shame of ridicule and ostracism.

I've known you for a long time and so it's harder for me to be objective but I will try to help point stuff out if I see it. The only thing I've seen recently that I think would qualify was your rant about the girl in your project group who wasn't doing her share of the work. I understood you were mad but I thought you were making too big a deal out of the fact that she was a girl (and blonde? I can't remember that part for sure now). But I didn't say anything at the time because I knew you were just blowing off steam.

[lite.livejournal.com]

Was I making too much of the fact that she was a girl? I'll have to reread and look. I just remember being pissed that her princessness couldn't get off her laurels and do anything.