Thoughts on Appearance

[hkellick]

My appearance has been on my mind alot lately. What brought it on? A couple of things.
First of all, I saw a picture of myself taken my first day as a grad student, in a bills shirt I can't wear anymore and... CHRIST did my face look pudgy.
Second of all, was reading some of my friends' entires (specifically kareila and doubletake)

This may get long-winded, so for the benefit of people who whine and bitch when I write a long entry, I'll hide it.

It wasn't that long ago that I didn't care much for my appearance. To some extent, some might say I still don't. I still wear t-shirts (I like them.) and I still don't do anything about the occasional facial acne I get (too lazy).
But, all in all, I care alot more.
To some extent, it's what keeps me going to the gym. Because I now really want to lose that extra 36 lbs. and be able to say "Yep. I'm a healthy weight now. Woohoo!"
And then I'm thinking about trying to lose more and try and be thin, but I dunno if I can. Gotta get *TO* 200 first. And when I even talk about getting *TO* 200 now, my family has coniptions. it's like they think I'm going too far. :P
Am I vain? I don't think so. I'd just like to get to an actual HEALTHY weight. I know that I look better now than I've looked in years, but I wanna be able to, after all this, say I GOT to a healthy weight.

I'm drawn back to thoughts of an ex-girlfriend of mine. I'll protect the innocent, by not naming her, but describing her may clue some of you into who I mean.
I dated a girl who was... well, I'll be blunt, she was fat. Not pleasantly plump or slightly overweight, but really obese. And she had short short hair, never wore makeup and, otherwise, I just never felt that she cared about how she looked. And... I'll be honest, it totally turned me off. We ended badly and I haven't spoken to her since.
See, there's a big difference between someone who doesn't care about how they look and someone who does. Someone who doesn't care what they look like isn't just isn't going to be treated as well as someone who does.

I know, when i was really fat, I thought that my appearance didn't matter at all. And if it mattered to someone.. well, stuff them. They weren't important. But this doesn't work. Because appearances DO matter. First impressions mean everything in certain situations, like job hunting or trolling for a date and appearance is a good part of a first impression.
Don't delude yourselves, folks, how you look IS Important. The fact of the matter is that people who take care of themselves will get treated better than those who don't.

Understand. I'm not saying run home and spend three hours trying to do your hair just so and put on makeup to make you look ravishing or work three hours to fit into those size 32 jeans, because the majority of people AREN'T Supermodels, but to spend a little extra time to make sure you look presentable.
It's not that hard. Honestly. Even *I* can do it. Exercise weekly, eat properly, bathe, wear deoderant, wear nice clothes that fit, wear makeup when appropriate, shave (or at least keep facial hair neatly trimmed), comb/brush your hair etc.

The choice is yours. I'm here to tell you that it's worth it, but in the end, you have to find out/decide for yourself.

That's really all I have to say about that.
So I'll end.
Fin.

Comments

[nissacrosseyed.livejournal.com]

I think my perspective on the whole 'appearance thing' is somewhat jaded as I have lived with girls for this year that spend an hour on their hair in the morning and are obsessed with how to make themselves look the most like the current coolest celebrity. Yes, people actually exist that are that vain. :)

I think that it is nice to be clean and presentable, but I don't think I ever want to spend all that much time in the morning getting ready. I only wear makeup when I have extra time to put it on in the morning, which is rare, and I don't spend more than a few minutes on my hair, because I consider it a lost cause. ;) I don't do anything special with it, but I try to make it look as nice as I can as quick as I can. (As my fitness class in the morning really crunches my time so that I don't have a whole lot in the morning to get ready.) I sometimes just like to wear baggy jeans and a baggy t-shirt, because it is comfortable and some days that matters more than what other people think to me... (ie: I am in physical pain and a tight t-shirt or tight pants would not make it feel any better.)

I think the only time I have really dressed up this school year has been for church. I have worn a few dresses, a few skirts, a few different pairs of dress slacks. I guess class just doesn't matter as much to me in that regard. :)

I do agree with the whole fitness thing, though, just because it is good for people. I feel so much better when I have spent part of my day being active... otherwise, I go through the day in sort of a fog.

Just my two or three cents on the whole appearance issue... :)

[lite.livejournal.com]

I'm not suggesting people suddenly become vain.
It's hard for me to explain, but as I said.. there's a difference between people who generally look like they care about how they look and those don't and I think you should.

[nissacrosseyed.livejournal.com]

I understand that, but I still disagree. :)

I do think that if people have access to restrooms and such that they should keep themselves clean. For their own health. For their own dignity. Same thing for working out.

Frankly, I do make sure I look presentable before I leave for class. But do I have the right to say that others have to, too? I think that once everyone is old enough to start making their own decisions about what they wear and what they don't, they get to deal with the consequences of those actions. (Shrug.)

I don't make sure I look nice in the morning to impress anybody, and while good looking people do get more perks (we talked about it alot in psychology... and it is not fair. ;))... I have dealt alot lately with whether on not I get something because I deserve it or whether I get it because somebody likes me (not good looks... but I can be somewhat of a suck-up to adults sometimes...and I don't really try, really.) I think I'd prefer to get something on my strengthens. Not because I dressed in nice clothes. Granted, some people have a strength in looking nice. Others don't. Somethings require people who have attention to looks. Somethings don't.

I dunno. I guess there is just something that bugs me about the idea... that we can judge somebody else, just once we start to get things in order. It is like looking at the people on the street and just saying 'they should get a job'... or overweight people and saying "They should watch what they eat." We don't know what they have gone through, we don't know what they are going through... we have no way of looking inside of them and seeing what they are dealing with. We have no right to judge. (Shrug.) I don't always follow this myself, and I acknowledge that, but I am trying... do you understand my gist? I think it is different when we mean it for their benefit, like yesterday when a girl at a softball game I went to didn't realize she was showing all the spectators her thong underwear.... or when we mean it for something else. Maybe I am not making any sense. Maybe I should spend some of this energy doing my homework. Either way. ;)

[lite.livejournal.com]

I think I understand, but I think I disagree with your way of thinking.

Yes, nice looking people get treated people better than those who don't. But at the same time, if you happen to be naturally good looking and look like a slob, you're telling what to the world? I think the 'happy middle' is just to take responsibility for your body. Not to go to the lengths than vain people go to, but to do the things I discussed in my post.
I agree that you should get only what you deserve and not what people give you because they find you attractive or what not, but that should reflect what you choose to accept and not how you dress/look.

I DO Agree that it is unfair and that we have no right to judge people. That said, I think we all do it anyways, all of us, every day. It's not fair and it's not right, but it's done anyways. That's why we SHOULD take care of ourselves. That way, WE do give a good first impression and the people who do that (potential bosses or potential dates or what not) don't check you off because you're a slob or smell nasty or what not..

[vissith.livejournal.com]

A lot of judging is judging about yourself. For instance:

You see someone one the street. Are you going to walk up to them, tell them "You should get a job, you irresponsible cretin?"

No, probably not. The thought that they should get a job reflects more on what you feel your reaction should be in that situation.

It isn't so much judging as it is an analytical impulse. I'd consider "judging" to be parading around telling people what to do or that they are good or evil.

Silent critique of the world around you is healthy and normal. It is, in part, how you discover yourself.